Yeah in the same way the role of “amazing lover” suits me just fine. 

And Hillary’s approvals were through the roof... until she started to campaign for president. Bernie never faced any serious negative campaigning. I think you greatly overestimate how popular socialism would be in a general election. Still, maybe be swings a few thousand votes in MI, WI, and PA? Maybe! Far from…

“So tell us about the jobs that will be created by this stadium plan.”

Well, it’s nice to see a Cardinals drive actually end in points for once. Unfortunately, they are on Floyd’s license.

Here is a required disclaimer to ensure my point is taken seriously and not dismissed as the ravings of some misguided Trump supporter: I voted for Hillary. I was not and am not terribly fond of her, but she was the objectively more qualified candidate and a demonstrably better human being. I don’t vote for…

No... it’s an elephant! I’ll be back in five minutes.

This is so dumb. We have an electoral college, so candidates campaign around that. If it was a popular vote the campaign trail would look dramatically different. So, we have no idea who would have won a popular vote, if that’s what mattered.

I would like to state that I don’t think it is okay to fuck the elephants, under any circumstances.

Meanwhile in Dallas, Lindy Ruff reads the article about how concerning it is that the Rangers’ starting goalie only has a .912 SV% and starts sobbing into his moustache.

If you’re pro-Henrik, does that mean you are Annti-Raanta or can you be both?

My best friend of 15 years is getting married next month. I’m the best man. His wife informed him that all members of the wedding party need to be clean shaven for the ceremony, no excuses.

Seeing McDavid act like this is unfortunate. He really should take a page out of another hockey superstar’s playbook, Sidney Crosby, and just cheap shot the guy and then hide behind the ref...

“Dammit Linda, I told you not to take him to Terry Tate’s Dog Obedience school. I better text the mailman a warning.”

Normally wanting to get out there and play for the Oilers would be a sure sign of a head injury so I can see where they’re coming from.

Can’t really blame all these Harvard guys for wanting to share and discuss their thoughts on the attractiveness of women using computer software. The last guy who did that successfully at Harvard is now worth over $55B.

“OMG! Young men and women are sexually evaluating each other based upon looks, style, sex appeal and physical attributes! Sound the alarms! We need to take this to the streets!”

When you see some hipster in a Che t-shirt remember this-

If you change should to can’t, then the statement says can’t never, which is a double-negative.

Have a Snickers