Has the bride or groom ever seen you clean-shaven? If it’s as bad as it sounds, you should make sure they know what they’re getting into.

Armond White scoffs at this rank amateur

Sounds like you may be juuuust old enough to have avoided digital communications being so ubiquitous that it would be weirder if you hadn’t written something embarrassing down on a daily basis (for comparison’s sake, I’m about 5 years younger).

Replies were never open, which is the entire joke. No one gives a shit about your fantasy football team.

If you could go back an access your texts and personal e-mails from when you were 18, I bet you would be pretty surprised at what kind of dumb shit you memorialized like an idiot.

Nominally the former, but practically the latter. Colleges would prefer to pretend that male sexuality is something that it isn’t, but since actually following that premise to its logical conclusion would result in worse backlash than we’ve already seen, cherry-picking the easiest-to-punish cases is the acceptable…

Why Your Kid Sucks, by Drew Magary in a horse costume.

A) No one on the Jets can say shit, ‘cause he’s easily their best player.

And here I thought Crosby’s forte was in hiding behind the guy to get his cheap shot in.

I ended up sitting behind Harry Reid on a shuttle flight from DCA to Boston back in 2010. He dozed off reading the paper and very, very audibly snored.

I was actually referring to Camden rather than Newark.

New Jersey’s one saving grace is that the Turnpike makes it as easy as humanly possible to sail right through that toxic waste dump. Which is more than I can say for other nonsense states like Connecticut, the New Jersey of New England.

New Jersey is a fucking dump, but its one saving grace is that the Turnpike makes it as easy as humanly possible to escape the dump as fast as humanly possible. Comparing it to the BW Parkway is like comparing Acela to a horse and buggy.

Wrong 20-something MVP-caliber player. But you do you, I guess.

Don’t the Nationals need a closer and a center fielder more than they need another starter?

Yea, we’re just heartbroken to still have the MVP-caliber 23-year old still on the roster rather than an improvement to the 2-pot of the rotation.

The asshole Nationals fans on staff were whining this morning about giving up prospects for an actual dominant workhorse starter, and they deserve to never win anything ever.

100% OK with this if it means the Nats can now seal the deal on McCutchen.  

Harper will get paid what he’s worth, and he’ll probably look great in a Yankees uniform.

When they realized men could be sexually liberated too.