It's like people who saw The Great Gatsby and then threw 20s-themed extravagant parties with gold in their champagne and dancing monkeys.

"I love sexually harassing women! But I didn't sexually harass this one!"

No, I suggested possibilities. The police say they got into a physical altercation, so there may be more to the story. Everything is awful here.

I'm pretty sure Mark just got a copy of the script for Death Proof 2 and mistook it for an actual news story. Meanwhile I'm going to go shut down my OKCupid profile for completely unrelated reasons.

That would be the tattoo artist. I shouldn't have been so cryptic.

The detectives on the case are just as stumped.

I have an acquaintance who was going through a divorce with her alcoholic ex-husband when she got the news that he'd died. Apparently, he was set up on a blind date for a wedding, proceeded to get drunk and then drove himself and his date off of a pier and they both died. I think about that poor woman who died on a…

Not really. You don't need to get a tattoo every time.

Whoa, Taylor Swift has the chillest cat in the world if she able to carry him around like that in public!

I was working at a conference center on Long Island, across the street from my high school when I was 15 in the early 1980s (I was a busperson). Beloved childhood performer, Captain Kangaroo was there, for what event, I do not know. He grabbed my ass. My 15-year-old ass. I was shocked and heartbroken. One of the…

Sadly, it's not just women who have to deal with this crap. My husband and I both have stories of the physical harassment we've received when we were servers. Along with the usual butt groping, my husband also had one woman grab his tie and try to pull him toward her, like he was a little dog on a leash there to do…

We were in a family-friendly restaurant, around 6:30pm, and I was wearing a loose-fitting, long sleeve shirt, jeans, and no makeup...so I'm not sure where the confusion arose as to what kind of service you were being provided.

That's also what heroin addicts say as they douse everything in ketchup.

I'm glad someone finally spoke up about this. He's been guilty of squid-shaming on multiple posts but I guess that's the sort of thing that's acceptable here at Kitchenette. I see that this so-called "blog" has no problem celebrating shrimp and other crustaceans, but when it comes time to talk about octopus, this…

...the ones who claim to be the most well travelled are the least well cultured about the places they supposedly travelled to.

You must be fun at parties.

Did you just explain to me how to work a dishwasher as opposed to wash dishes? Can you also tell me how to put on shoes, turn on the TV and breath air?

I love this the very most. "I had a bebopsy."