I named myself after the actual Ministry of Natural Resources Bear Training I received in the early aughts. When you see a black bear, you make yourself look big and say, loudly: “Whoa bear!” And if the bear doesn’t run away, you yell “I’M A HUMAN YOU’RE A BEAR! WHOA BEAR!”

Please don’t ruin carrot cake for me.

I’m in fleece right now and I feel pretty sexy.

Oh definitely. There are a few of these people about town and I was always so angry when my kids were too young to be vaccinated because they were putting them at risk. It’s completely selfish and horrible.

I am NOT defending anti-vaccine parents at all, but most of the ones I know think that vaccines:

I want to know all of the things you know. Tell me the things!

I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS HAPPENING AND I AM SO EXCITED. I’ve always wanted to visit the Winchester Mystery House. Also, this gives me something to look forward to in February, to distract me from the crushing misery of mid-winter.

I hope Cameron Britton finds a lot more roles as a result of this show. He is fantastic.

I like your Dad. I would like him to insult our former Prime Minister in a similar manner.

My parents say “brekkie” and “sunnies” for sunglasses and always have, since I was little. And we are definitely not Australian. It’s very strange. Where did it come from? I should ask them.

I will never not be delighted by the word “bogan.”

I had successfully forgotten about the existence of Mitsou. Now Bye Bye Mon Cowboy is in my head. I hope you’re happy now.

Thank you, I realize it’s probably paranoia. Our library had a summer student in the children’s programme and she was lovely but her speaking voice was so nasal and oddly monotone and just terrible for reading children’s books out loud. I felt so sorry for her! She was so sweet but man, the voice.

I just read Nick Offerman’s book, and Nick Offerman loves Chris Pratt and finds his hijinks delightful, but Pratt does seem like he would be exhausting to be married to. I think he might be the kind of dude who is always ON.

I just read Nick Offerman’s book in his voice and it was goddamn delightful.

I live with a secret fear that I might have an annoying speaking voice. No one has told me this but of course they wouldn’t! Ahh!

Noooo

I know. Commenters over there were horrified.

I was reading a review of Mindhunter on the AV Club and the author wrote about someone’s hair being “quaffed.” Hmph.

My friend once saw a sign for “stationary” in an office supply store and just froze like a statue in the aisle in order to obey the sign.