To this day I cannot see a file at work with the last name of “Grimes” and not think “Grimey!” to myself.

And you had to hope you didn’t enter a wrong number on the blast fax or risk getting sued for spamming someone’s fax machine.

One of my first jobs in junior high was selling newspaper subscriptions door to door. I lost money at that job, as I made a grand total of $2 my first day before quitting and had to buy lunch that day.

I want to say that Purdue was not terrible in the early 90's but no better than mediocre. That could just be wishful thinking buried in the fog of time, though.

Yeah, that was a pretty brutal game to be at. Not a great end to a season that saw them beat Notre Dame in South Bend.

For Purdue, probably since Kyle Orton went pro. Indiana has been bad overall since the early 90's, and Illinois probably started their slide into general uselessness around the mid to late 90's.

Yes, you should come to the bars in Chicago on any given Saturday morning in October and find out just how little Chicagoans care about college football.

Since I’m pretty sure I recently hit that particular milestone (since goddamn football kickers have no staying power anymore), am I allowed to start calling all pro rookies “kids” non-ironically?

You’ve been to an Arby’s?

urrrgh..... I want so desperately to yell at people who are walking on a treadmill set at 2.0 mph that they have better uses for their money and they’re not actually getting a workout if they can text easily.

Honestly, I could probably do that myself with similar results if not for the fact I get asked/told to host Christmas dinner fairly often. Aside from that I might eat at my table once or twice a year.

Jesus, don’t even get me started on the sheer amount of crap that people bring with them and then dump on the floor next to their preferred weight rack/treadmill.

I watched at work w/o an audio output, so it’s entirely possible the narrator gave an explanation that I had no access to.

With the potential for catastrophe looming pretty large here, why cut that rectangle out of the shield right in front of the press? That seems like a place I’d really want protection.

Cooking on Sunday for the week is a hallmark of a serial killer? Shit, I better get to work on my body count.

Look, yawning with your cakehole wide open is bad manners and you should cover it. I’m not looking for opportunities to check your dental hygiene just because you didn’t get enough sleep last night.

14? That’s it? I thought there would be more.

Don’t get me wrong, I dig me some Maynard Ferguson, but the soundtrack to Rocky does not make my top ten. Aside from “Gonna Fly Now,” there’s not much that’s memorable.

Honestly, you’ve got a disturbingly low amount of grease and other schmutz on your shorts after apparently rebuilding the trans in your lap. I’m positive that I would look like I’d rebuilt the thing from the inside by the time I was done with the job. Hell, I couldn’t even pull the soft top off my CJ without…

A possible answer to your parenthetical question re: pundity tweets is that a model based in part on past results may not be able to account for a non-traditional candidate like Trump.