Mine was probably the most cliche. My wife had accidentally sent me the email she meant for the other guy. For the first time I understood what it meant when people say, "that it felt like all the air was sucked out of the room." It felt exactly like that. What a horrible day that was. Two years later and that…

Doesn't anybody ever just say, "hello dear, I'm having some doubts about our relationship, can we talk about this"? Anymore? No? Just jump straight to the retaliation-cheating, huh?

That's the thing that gets to me about my cheater story too! The elaborate, carefully thought out plots and schemes to keep his secrets. I just can't imagine being that willfully dishonest for that length of time, unless you were a complete and utter sociopath.

I was an adult so it didn't damage me too much, aside from this weird lingering feeling that all men are cheaters. Obviously rational me knows that isn't the case.

Okay, this isn't technically a "cheater" story because we were not exclusive—but it is some lying bullshit, shit-to-the-bull:

I didn't "catch" him. However, I caught chylmadia and HPV (low risk kind) from the dirtbag. Found out about 3 months after the breakup; we had been tested for STIs together, at my insistence, because he didn't want to wear a condom. I thought I was being so grown up. In hindsight, I'm lucky. What a fuckslug. And…

WOW, THANKS FOR THE TIP!

GF was heading back to college after winter break and wanted to surprise her by putting gas money in her purse. Found a letter in there, and assumed it was to me, natch. At one point, the letter began to describe a dream, in which "we started to have sex, but my mom and ricos both showed up".... uh..

ive semi-retired the line .

This was my ex to a TEE!

Goddamnit I thought this was this week's Pissing Contest.

This story was all sorts of click bait.

She is basically Little Kelly Faircloth. When I was a child I'd worry about things, my mom would eventually lose patience and respond, "Well, what if the world stops turning tomorrow?" And I'd freak out about the possibility of what if the world DID actually stop turning tomorrow.

That's a mistake you can't wash off.

Miranda Kerr AND friggin Adriana Lima? Da fuq ladies? You can rebound way better than with that little shitstain. Team Legolas. I'll take two shirts please.

P.S. DISAGREEING WITH HOW ISRAEL IS HANDLING IT'S "SITUATION" DOES NOT MAKE YOU A JEW HATER.

Team Legolas!

Dear Legolas: Next time you battle Gollum and need a Second, call upon me. Your bow and arrow will be ever at the ready. Love, AE.

I'm so sorry that happened to you and I hate that you felt like he could not easily be punished for it.