Alternative name: Tel Afib

Grumpy Cat Woman

What’s the point of the center corer?

Never mind that, though—we want the receipts!

Yep. He’s been that way since he began his tabloid life in NYC.

Projectionist sez what?

Get the fuck out of here with your liberal, socialist aluminum. Steel is what made America great.

Complete with a Russia illustration on the cover.

Opening line:

Whine Kampf 

“This court is not prepared to roll back the tide of history.”

This language isn’t nearly as shocking as the little known first draft of the Gettysburg Address where Lincoln vowed that he was going to “Fuck up the south something fierce and shove a ceramic dildo up Bobby Lee’s ass while ripping the eyes out of Jefferson Davis’ skull and pissing in his ocular cavities.”

I heard that John Barron is the leaker. 

“There is no source. The person doesn’t exist. The person’s not alive. It’s bullshit, OK? It’s bullshit.”

What are the odds when Trump meets with the Swiss President, he’s going to spend the whole time ridiculing their cheese because it has so many holes in it and how American cheese is far superior due to its lack of holes.

It sounds like this movie makes Old Yeller look like screwball comedy.

“Donald Trump (and Mitch McConnell) enabled this by selecting two right-wing Catholics to give conservatives a firm majority on the Supreme Court.”

Seeing some good nicknames for Southern Evangelicals:

Domestic policy too!