Steve Scalise...too bad the guy that shot that baseball game didn’t have better aim

He looks like Lindsay Graham fucked Rocky Dennis and Cher dropped the baby on its face.

OMG this has become my favorite show! America’s Stupidest Reichwing Wackadoos just keeps getting better and better. I almost can’t believe he fucked it up again, and I almost can’t believe he fucked it up every bit as spectacularly as last time— but ‘almost’ is a big word.

Now that could get loud.

Roughly 95% of online dating profiles — male, female, or non-binary — are as bad as this, or even worse.

The dumbest goddamned reason I hear people say that the house should launch impeachment proceedings is “Well, even though it’ll fail in the senate it won’t matter because everyone has made up their minds about 2020 already.”

Passover seder-goers can add this verse:

His Tom Of Finland Trump never fails to slay me.

She looked different yesterday, like she’d had some work done or something.

“Listen, I think everyone should read Mein Kampf just to clarify what positions that Hitler had that ran contrary to the Trump administration.”

Carrie Underwood can’t act. Remember her as Maria in the Sound of Music Live? It was the first time ever that the audience was rooting for the Baroness!

Happy Pi Day!

Dudes, Drake’s Fruit Pies are NOT cake! What the fuck is everyone smoking? I cannot BELIEVE that I have to say that Kilmeade is right, man, it’s killing me... but fachrissakes a fruit pie is not cake.

Ritz Cracker.

Why moi. There is no richie.

“The military is too complicated. Our soldiers show go back to throwing rocks.”

D. Trump - Commander in Chief

OMG, “for the furniture of our children” has already gone down in linguistic history.

Remember that one quite a while back when he had another slip of the tongue during a speech and accidentally said that the Democrats were right-wing? Any normal person - literally any normal person - would have given that a little whoopsie and corrected themselves, but no, Donnie Two-Scoops realized immediately that…

He’s incapable of admitting his flaws. Presumably part of his narcissism, combined with his compulsive lying. He always has to claim to be the best at something, even when there is glaring evidence to the contrary. If he admits his flaws to the world, then he has to admit them to himself. That’s not going to happen.