Every writer: “I’m just a little baby who doesn’t know any better.”

That’s really unfortunate. I remember my brother showing me some great Wyatt Family promos that were heavily inspired by the True Detective Carcosa imagery. Gotta respect anyone bringing those creative influences to wrestling.

“Sturgeon’s law.”

Why isn’t anyone calling Patricia Clarkson an absolute monster for wearing shoes in bed?

This writer isn’t aware of any films that came out before 1995.

Jennings is the actual good host.

“which would be enough to cause the Log Cabin Republicans to wake up and stop endorsing him.”


If you’ve time traveled here from early 2017, I have some crucial health information that I need you to take back to your people. It could save millions of lives.

The agenda to pretend there used to be a baseball rule preventing the use of a substitution runner for a walk off home run.

If it included healthcare, that job would honestly be a pretty peaceful way to pass a few months. 

It’s never going to top the Magic 8 Ball episode of Review. 

I would watch that. 

I miss when the only thing I knew about Candace Cameron Bure as an adult was that she’s married to the brother of my 8th favorite hockey player. 

I thought this scarecrow went back to his pumpkin patch after getting his ass beat in the gubernatorial election. How embarrassing. 

Stop clicking to rage about nitwits. 

Most of the films on this list are PR packages extended to feature length. There’s nothing genuinely revealing about a documentary in which the subject’s team has final cut. 

Boom roasted!

Anything to keep him away from Jeopardy. 

Hard pass. I’m sitting on that toilet. 

Why is her piano so moldy? That’s really bad for the tone. Can’t she afford a clean, well-maintained piano?

I’d also settle for a ghoul or poltergeist. No orbs or banshees!