I have the death sentence on 12 systems!

Alaska?

And I asked God, "Why, during the most difficult times of my life, were there two sets of footprints and one set of knuckleprints in the sand?"

"So... you pretended to be pregnant for nine months? Kid's from Poland?"

No one gives a shit about your' Burner ( problem ) .

The last thing I want to do is give this giant and troubling waste of our goddamn time the acknowledgment that is clearly so desperately craved. But the fact that I must suppress my pride and bring attention to this in a plea for support from my own employer makes it all the more ridiculous.

All this pales in comparison to Alicia Silverstone pre-chewing her kid's food and then feeding him with her mouth. THAT'S commitment, people.

Toyota is the perfect sponsor for Red Zone offense, because no matter what you try, they're unstoppable.

When asked about Kevin Love leaving, the state collectively shrugged its shoulders, and looked off into the flat horizon. In the August haze, one could swear they can see all the way to Willmar from here.

After watching Scott vomit on the field during without any qualms, Bengals management has asked him to lead conditioning drills for the cheerleading squad.

I think its terribly misguided that you're comparing this to Trayvon Martin et. al. Those are all different cases with their own particularities and back stories. Yes, it is very much true that we live in a society that fear young Black (men), but turning these cases into some representation of that doesn't do any…

Indeed.

The sheer amount of denial and revisionist history of this comment thread's collective childhood and subsequent parenting philosophy is enough to make Vladimir Putin blush.

Speaking of lowered basketball hoops, my wife and I went to her friend's house for dinner one night, and the friend's son wanted to play basketball against his step-dad and me. We told him this was a horrible idea and would only end in tears for him, but he was so dead-set on taking us on, so we obliged him.

Things used to be better than they are now. People now are the problem, whereas before, people were good.

I think the last 3 paragraphs of this article represents the most sensible rant against anti-child people (note: not childless people, but rather people who actively hate children) I've ever read. As a soon to be father, I've definitely found myself having a little more pity when I see a clearly flustered parent…

What really happened:

I did the exact same thing once at The Cheesecake Factory. You should have seen the look on that god damn kid's face when I bought up all the cheesecakes in the place. The resulting Chapter 7 bankruptcy was so worth it

football and basketball players don't work any harder than any other athletes. They don't work harder than swimmers. They don't work harder than field hockey players. They don't work harder than wrestlers.

I can understand not wanting people to make fun of "latinos" as a whole, but to make fun of gang culture doesn't seem offensive at all, whether it's specifically latino or not. Gang culture is lame and deserves to be made fun of