Drunk sex is the worst. It is especially the worst if you are not drunk and your partner is. Ugh.

If this lackluster Excelmanship is any indication, this is a man who lacks passion.

I use a similar spreadsheet, except column A is formatted YYYY.

The floor is yours, Representative Bayless

At least he'll finally be compared to Michael Jordan.

Don't worry. He'll be back once the playoffs are over.

Phone rings

There wasn't a dry eye in the house, except, you know, one of his.

I'll be honest, I had no idea this stuff existed until I stumbled onto it in the kitchen at my old job, and it changed my life. Of course, they were using it (or rather, not using it) for its intended purpose: To keep the push-pot coffeemakers clean (which, sadly they didn't do quite enough) and free of gook and caked…

I really used to be in the "I hate disposable cleaning products like these" camp, because I didn't think they did anything I couldn't do with a reusable tool like a featherduster or a simple mop—and while technically that's still true, my father turned me on to Swiffer Dusters because, well, if there's any cleaning…

Calling Erin Andrews "gutless" only proves that TruBiotics works as advertised.

Ladies and Gentlemen...the Internet was made for this post. It has all built up to this.

Or maybe you're just regurgitating the usual defaming response to anything that might bring a plausible reason why your idea of utopia doesn't work without vastly limiting people's freedoms to live life as they see fit. Nice try with the wrong culture comment, though. So clever to take a statement about cultural…

Hey, look! Ayn Rand has a Burner account!

This guy sounds like his persona is derived from that Marine Todd meme.

Mothers of the San Gabriel valley are freaking out right now that their sons will not want to be doctors.

♫ Who are the people in your neighborhood? In your neighborhood? In your neigh-bor-hood? Oh who are the people in your neighborhood? The hipsters that you want to crush with your bare hands because they wear those stupid jerseys and have those stupid fucking glasses and they all try to be so cool typing on a…

What if God was one of us?