He's safe, he's 70!

Babe: The Rind Warrior

Oh, it's a real movie alright, but you have to subscribe to Hulu to see it.

On the bright side, Dubya and Trump are also 69.

Eugene Levy, Pat Sajak, Steven Spielberg, Susan Lucci, Jimmy Buffett, Patti Smith, Marianne Faithfull…

Oliver Stone, Susan Sarandon, Tommy Lee Jones, David Gilmour, Candice Bergen, Sally Field…

Danny Glover, Reggie Jackson, Cheech Marin, Bill Clinton, Sylvester Stallone…

David Lynch, Dolly Parton, Timothy Dalton, Charlotte Rampling, Anthony Daniels; there are plenty of viable 69 year old candidates!

Super Porp is a fruit!

Awwwww, your comment was the perfect set-up to a The A.V. Club gag before you edited it.

An unemployed Amber Heard is an even better idea.

Age of Ultron wuz robbed, I tells ya!

DENTAL PLAN!

Concussions for some, miniature American flags for others!

Bring back Pat Summerall!

IT TOOK TWELVE YEARS TO MAKE!

Stephen needs to go on The Colbert Report, the Colbert Bump will sort out his ratings trouble.

I bet Les Moonves could beat up NBC's dad!

I will not watch Cox on Fox. I don't care how much it rox. I would not watch it on the docks, I wouldn't watch it with Amanda Knox. Excuse me while I eat hydrox.

The A.V. Club