I’m wondering how many times I’m going to yell “’STRAYA!” while playing this game

Alright, good for you. More ‘straya for me, then

It’s just Teslas all the way down

Well, #ripcod continues in full force, despite any surprise Kit Harringtons

In all seriousness Tom, the opportunity to ruthlessly unleash snark of this magnitude is one of the biggest reasons that I want to be a Jalopnik writer

And for Ferraris

Ferrari owners, now

Just pack the fuck up and go home, ACR owners. The Series.Yellow is the new king.

Well, thank god this is not on Gawker, because we never have any hot takes in Jalopnik comments...

So if I roll over and die, I can still go through stupid back doors for my stuff.

How in the fuck does this stay in the grays

Ding-ding-ding we have a winner!

As opposed to regular groundhogs, which are scared of their own fucking shadows.

The excitement, the history, and above all, the racing. Even with the chicanes the prototypes hit 200 twice a lap. It took Mark Webber a year to adapt to this stuff- it’s F1 for 24 hours, just better.

This is also on a site that uses snark to terrific effect. I’d expect more empathy on Jalopnik’s part, but this is Westbrook, so who the fuck knows what's gonna happen

The “parents only make fun of the name” is bullshit. Hell, I'd probably bully the absolute fuck outta a kid named Trajan. Imagine him in eighth grade with his classmates learning what a Trojan is. Infinite pain.

Chris and Rihanna.

People who name their children this do us a favor, actually, by providing a quick guide as to how fucked up the gene pool from which the child is produced is. So Alissa? Her are normal people who aren’t fucking idiots. Jack’Syn? Some prime genetic defectives, right there.

(http://oppositelock.kinja.com/alyssa-walker-…: shoutout to Spridget)