I assume someone else was supposed to write this story about Wentz, but traded down.

Wait, if the Iditarod has a bus to throw people under, why do they make these poor dogs pull sleds over thousands of miles?

Worse, Julie would only hold his hand on a contraction to contraction basis. She refused to commit to multiple contractions in a row.

Slightly surprised Skipper didn’t go full scorched earth and doxx PFT Commenter in his statement.

/pivots to video

The Process is like a frog in a pot of water slowly brought to a boil.

They played the game in a haze, and in ten years, none of the players will even remember it happened.

A comment section on The Onion would be incredible content.

Have some class, Nats! At least make something up about a drinking problem if you’re going to fire the guy.

Trump believes these guys really do have a viral infection.

Another Burneko fluff piece.

Fan holding the toddler and trying to get in on the action is an early frontrunner for Father of the Year.

Ooh, you’re giving me hope that they’ll get rid of John Strong and replace him with Martin Tyler, seeing as MLS knowledge is no longer relevant.

Holy shit, Florida Man and Cowboys Fan are one and the same.

Please tell me US Soccer pulled a Kiffin and left Bruce Arena on the tarmac.

Probably just chant “I believe that we will win” over and over like a bunch of cosplayers.

I’d say that this is embarrassing for the United States, but frankly that ship has already sailed.

Playoffs!?!

I disagree. Ja killed it at the Fyre Festival.

Ditka is the type to point out that there’s a black woman among all these beautiful, scantily clad women, but he would never acknowledge that Pepsi stuck her in the back.