Around the same time Collective Soul and Matchbox Twenty made listening to the radio as dangerous to one's health as juggling chainsaws or badgers.

People actually make that comparison?
And I thought I was as disgusted with humanity as I could be after the past few weeks of constant bickering in this country

I think I did see the pit. Was it Canadian? And about a weird ass little kid feeding meat to monsters in a hole? If it is what I think it is it used to be a midnight movie staple in the 80s.
It was some goofy stuff.

There is also the one with something about a "mushroom tip" going "drip drip drip" which sounds like he should maybe visit a clinic for some penicillin.

Was it about a guy with a boob on his face? Because that sounds kind of hot.

You ain't missing much. Put some third rate So Cal punk in a blender with some fifth rate reggae and *voila* it's Sublime.

I don't give a shit about Sublime one way or the other. They are pretty crap overall but fairly innocuous in extremely small doses that they wouldn't make any list of things I actually hate. Their eponymous breakout album was released my frosh year of college and their "music" was so ubiquitous on the campus of Ohio U…

The Steelers are dirty little shit bags just like the Bengals, but they are Mr. Rooney's classy, gritty, hard working NFL golden child so they get away with all the shit the lowly plebe teams get hammered for.

I quit taking all drugs except for Advil.
I quit watching all television except for Friends reruns.
I quit listening to all podcasts except for Jay and Silent Bob grow old.

It's gonna take longer than 5 minutes for my 'organ solo' if all I have to work with is that accompanying photo and this drawing of my ire.
*concentrates really really hard on that time Mary Sue Ratchencroft's bikini top fell off at Burr Oak Lake the summer before 10th grade*

To be fair it's not his fault, that leprechaun keeps telling him to burn things.

It's often understated how much Brando depended on dairy products for his method, i.e. the cream cheese he smeared on his face for The Island of Dr. Moreau or the mini balls of mozzarella he stuffed in his cheeks to play Don Corleone.

"You got it all wrong Dolph, it's 'Steal your face right off your head'"—unexpected Deadhead JBL

Sassy Spice (now comes with sage advice spun with rugged street wisdom)

Let's build a time machine and go back to kick Axl Rose's ass! Have you seen how skinny he was back then? I'm sure we can take him.

It's a joke?
I just assumed he really, really liked Predator and was honestly watching it every weekend.
I feel like I did when I found out Santa wasn't real and I don't know what to believe anymore.

Poor confused McCheese obviously uses Ketchup as some sort of lube or as a sex-prop of sorts and is attempting to proposition the young man behind the counter for some sexy shenanigans. Counter guy is politely rebuffing McCheese's advances to the horrible freak's visible dismay (note the stressed flop sweat).

Just what in the hell is Grimace anyway? Where does he (it?) come from? What does it want? What do the authorities know and why do they refuse to share this information with the public? I, for one, am terrified.

The best is when they show up late to the cemetery at Jackie Jr's funeral.
"Jesus Christ! You told me eleven o'clock!"
Then Bobby sees Silvio and Christopher getting pinched because of the Super Bowl and Junior runs like a nut to the car and nearly leaves Bacala behind -"Junior! Don't leave me!"
The look on Tony's face…

TLDR warning:
Farts are universally funny. Last week my father had a colonoscopy and because I had the week off I went with him to drive him home after the procedure and to be there for him in case anything went wrong because nobody else was available. I'm not sure how familiar any of you are with endoscopic…