"There I was, on the starboard side of the main deck manning the catapult and firing flaming missiles at this dragon and its queen, and the stupid thing burned up the ship and killed all me mates. I still don't understand why."

This past week really has been one continuous dick punch.

You are absolutely correct, I think I would have mentioned Merle Haggard as opposed to whoever Cryff is, or was I guess.

And commit genocide on whatever natives don't succumb to the Wall Pox she introduces.

Love both of those guys.

You're doing a hero's work.

Hey, that's my choice too! And for a lot of the same reasons. His work has always felt like home to me. I will always be grateful to my HS English teacher for introducing me to his work even though it wasn't part of our class curriculum-he knew I was a goofball with an odd sense of humor for a 15 year old and told me…

I checked my Twitter feed and the next thing I know I was covered in buboes.

"Don't you hurt my raccoon!"
"Don't you make me hurt your raccoon!"

Gonads and nards aren't any better. There just isn't an appealing word for the shriveled little goobers.

Don't forget music! A lot of men seem to have real issues identifying with or simply listening to female musicians.

Stoned With Randos would be a great name for a shitty high school garage band.

If I start trying to think about what these families and friends are going through I won't leave the house for a week.

Like everybody else I am sick to my stomach over this horrific nonsense. All day my mood has vacillated wildly from vengeful anger to catatonic sadness and back again. I don't know what to do to feel better. Hugging my dogs and giving them baths helped in the moment, but they are hugged out now and both think I'm a…

Community: The Movie
The prophecy must be fulfilled

I'd buy that game.

The Witch was great. Warcraft is obviously shit, and you're obviously a moron.

Geez, you're dumb.

The burgeoning new "Christian Porn" market presents: The Passion 2: Christ Came Twice

If I remember correctly, "Boobs and Dragons" was an album by Rainbow.