This is berry, berry, old.

Beware, all ye who seeketh a living wage...

How'd my soul get there? I've been looking for that forever.

*puts Necronomicon down* You can't prove ANYTHING!

Yeah, I have a brother who had triplets. They had just gotten financially stable enough for another kid and ended up with three. Needless to say, it set them back quite a bit.

This has to be peak narcissism.

Wow, the Halloween costume possibilities...

With the fire of a thousand suns. :)

Silly Dr. Smith...thinking health insurance can be cost-effective, humane and address real medical issues all at the same time. Doesn't she know health insurance is supposed to suck as much money out of a person as possible while ensuring said person is paid out nothing for their necessary medical needs?

Here's the thing though: Boko Haram has been murdering and pillaging for quite a while now. Why aren't we (We = US, Europe, Israel) interested in doing anything about it? Why aren't we putting resources into combatting them the same way we're doing in the Middle East?

Kenna needs to slow the fuck down.

I love the combo of macho pissing contest with a loose-leaf tea break.

I legit slipped on a fresh banana peel once and went ass over teakettle. I know, Mythbusters says they're not slippery but I DID. It was pure cliche slapstick comedy, and even though my ego was probably the most bruised thing it was just so fucking ridiculous it counts as the dumbest.

When I was 12 I bailed off the tube pretty hard (like in the above photo). I bounced along the surface and hit the top of my ankle on what I thought was a piece of wood, or discarded water ski. (We'd hit them before. People drop a ski when they go slalom and sometimes don't retrieve it. Jerks.)

I love this story. I mean it must have sucked, obviously, but it's very amusing.

Well, my now husband and were having pizza one afternoon. After we were done eating, one thing lead to another and I starting giving him a good ol BJ. I was horny, so was he, so I got on top and started riding away, enjoying ourselves. Then I felt a slight burning sensation. I was like, oh whatever, it'll go away.…

That is where mind went. It's next to their binders full of women.

Whoops. Someone's getting deprogrammed for that.