Yes, because nobody ever makes fun of guys carrying handbags/satchels/"murses."

Yeah, that's the fundamental problem right there. The pockets are so constrained that things fall out when you sit down, and even when they don't having anything in your pockets ruins the whole effect because the lumps are so obvious. Can you imagine carrying a big smartphone in those kind of shorts?

And my mom tells me I'm picky.

My number one rule is that if you've ever been accused of murdering someone you've slept with, I can't be with you. Its a deal breaker.

"Please do not with the jorts."

*insert "you in danger girl" gif*

NO! Fine, some short shorts, but please keep the longer ones. They are the only ones I can wear TT.TT. You know what I want? Long baggy shorts for women! You know what, fashion, despite your insistence, not everyone has skinny ass legs and carries their weight on their stomach. You know, it would be nice to…

...yeah. It's time to abandon ship for a while. If I wanted this much obsessive fascination over minutia, I'd never have quit my college's anime club. Later, Jez.

My 74 year old mother's name is Hazel. She hates it. I told her it was making a comeback. All she said was why do people hate their babies.

She was definitely getting it lasered off to accommodate whatever jewelry Jay & Solange were purchasing yesterday. Of course she had to orchestrate the tiff between the two in order to get said jewelry, but since she's Illuminati it wasn't that much of a challenge.

I can guarantee that my years long dry spell was not self-imposed. I'm not even as big as the actress in the Louie clip but I can tell you that NO ONE was interested for years. Actually, most of my life has been me trying to get dudes to fuck me and them turning me down cold. No one would fuck me, which is a shame,…

That is my routine, and I do indeed look (and feel) healthy and happy, and it certainly is what matters. But I am very fat — the quaint little charts on the internet would put me at "morbidly obese", just as they would the other fat people in my family, each of whom has a completely different diet and exercise pattern…

As someone with horrible keloid scarring from multiple surgeries because of a chronic genetic medical condition she was born with...this is true. Although, a guy I went on a few dates with was told HE was a hero for dating me. I mean, he had to sacrifice SO MUCH to be seen in public with me. Poor guy.

Except that he addresses those double standards ALL THE TIME in his stand-up. He had a whole bit about how women are much braver than men because we continue to date men. It starts something like this: "This number one killer of men is heart disease. The number one killer of women is men". He acknowledges his…

No more than you've done this entire thread. You've been told all your life that men really don't have standards and if women didn't have standards they'd be getting laid all the time so it must be true, many complex permutations of human behavior be damned.

If you're socially unadept it's very easy to have long dry spells. How do you meet someone if you don't go out much or at all? How to you engage their interest if you can't talk to them or are excessively nervous? If you're willing drop you standards to "anything above corpse" anyone of any gender can get laid, but…

Yeah, I know. There's this pervasive idea that any woman can get sex anytime she wants but that has not proven true for me. I still battle waves of humiliation when I think back on my rejections. Ugh.

The age of Craigslist has taught me that pretty much anyone can get laid anytime they want if they don't care who it's with.