She covered the walls of one poor couple’s kitchen in sunflower seed packets. Like 1,000 seed packets that would all be curling and nasty (if they hadn’t all been ripped down behind her crazy, crazy back).

times not ruins, wtf

Nice to have an explanation for why I don’t like iced coffee. I love black coffee, but the ruins I’ve tried iced coffee, I’ve always had to dump a ton of milk and sugar in it because it tastes watery and awful to me.

My husband does this too. I can usually redirect and move on, but sometimes he’ll do it when his mouth is working a boob and when he tries to use his hand to play downstairs, whoops multitasking fail, and now I just have him breathing on my wet nipple. And that does not get a redirect, unless you count me redirecting…

As the owner of a three-head who can never have bangs unless I go full Renaissance on my hairline, I say fuck this noise and all you women with bangs keep doing that shit; you look amazing and I am jell forever.

If you and your partner agreed on monogamy, you do not get to unilaterally change terms of your relationship. If you find that monogamy no longer works for you (which is fine), you are morally obligated to include your partner in that decision so they can accept or reject your new terms. Any rationale you come up with…

Having more/different people than I expected be at a thing really harshes my ability to relax and enjoy aforementioned thing. My husband now mostly understands that surprise social situations are to be avoided when possible, and why I’ll beg off these kinds of things if they do happen and I’m already stressed out.

You’re not weird at all. Being social drains my batteries. It doesn’t mean that I don’t like hanging out with and talking to my friends and acquaintances; it means those activities deplete a reservoir that, much like cod stocks, can’t be over-fished or they crash and burn and nobody gets to eat fish and chips for like…

I mostly agree; I think they should only be treated as law enforcement if they’ve been activated in an enforcement capacity by the governor, or if they’re military police. There’s no other reason for them to be armed on duty outside of a combat zone. I’m getting ready to walk away after 13 years with the military, and…

Thanks, I was gonna say: Old Orchard Beach and the fucking Mohegan Sun casino?

Smitten apples for snacking. I actually wish I’d never had one because all other apples taste like mealy mush to me now, and they’re not available all the time and hard to find even when they are.

Counterpoint: we snagged our dream house in a beach town after they dropped the price by 60K because they had to get going but nobody wants to buy in a beach town in winter.

They call that a Lackland donut in Air Force basic training. White bread with butter and sugar - it was the closest you were getting to dessert for a long time. Deprive yourself of sugar for a couple weeks, then try one. You’ll swear it’s a delectable pastry.

They look like they belong on the Choice Books spinner at the drugstore and will try to sneak Jesus on me.

That is some beautiful, sneaky genius.

Anyone who gets bagged for this is a dumbass who you do not want working for the government. You have to sign and initial a million billion forms whenever you get any sort of U.S. government information system account, including email. 54% of those forms tell you what you can and cannot do with those accounts and 40%…

Can we please, PLEASE end the use of RSVP cards with multiple blank lines? Believe it or not, there are people who have not yet been invited to a wedding as adults and who have not spent the time we have completely up the ass of wedding planning and etiquette. Sending them an invitation with a response card that has…

Thank you for this. I’ve also found that “For Sensitive Skin”, “Calming”/“Soothing”, and “With Natural Botanicals” are giant bullshit flags that let me know I’m probably going to have a reaction. You’d think since finding out the hard way that some asshole decided mascara of all things needed chamomile, I would have…

Nope, you’re not, and YES, me too. I remember keeping the bottle for a year after it was empty so I could take a hit whenever I was depressed, sniffing at it like a wild animal.

*cough* http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Casey%20M… Ao3 is where all the fic lives these days