“Yeah I just wanted to get a dig in at the Aussies.”

Craft/speciality beers have been popular in Australia all this century. Redback (Tasmania) is a very good wheat beer, for example, & you can’t go wrong with anything from Coopers (Adelaide, of all places).

Dunno if Bud Light’s any better - because I haven’t tried it - but Fosters is pretty crap.

“But whether actual Italians will take to the culinary stylings of Domino’s remains to be—holy fuck I can’t even finish this sentence with a straight face.”

[Refuses to believe that cod is a fish, or that fries are chips] “Okay, I’ll take the crispy chicken salad with extra extra ranch”

[Grilled cheese] so I said “no bread, thanks.” She replied, without skipping a beat, “that would be a puddle of cheese, and we don’t do that.”

I wanted to say, “You know there is water in root beer, right?”

This is still better than the teen who asked me if chocolate chip ice cream had chocolate chips inside it.

[beer bottle full of butts] “Finally, I realized he was an asshole and I’d done my due diligence to prevent him from drinking it, and let go. He took a big chug out of the bottle, realized something was wrong and spat it all over himself.”

“There isn’t anything...special...in this brownie, is there?”

Up next comes the angry bride, who demanded to know why they were still serving “those people” when it was her wedding day. The manager explained that they are paying customers, and he would not force them to move.

“OK people, our numbers are too high this week, so I’m going to need you to give 110% and piss off as many customers as you can. Lie about not having products, switch size labels, flat out refuse to “Go in back to see if you have it”

Mind you, the idea of tiny bagels on a pizza doesn’t sound that much dumber than the weird shit that Pizza Hut do to their pizzas. I mean, mini-hotdogs in the crust? WTF?

Oh right, that actually sounds like something I’d whip up myself.

Not going to lie, “gizzard pizza” sounds like some sort of Southern regional speciality, & as least as plausible as chitlins.

Oh for fucks sake.

Now I’m curious. What on earth is a bagel pizza?

Of course it does, but - like shootings - it seems to be a lot less common here. It’s also worth mentioning that this particular scam is inflicted almost entirely on foreign nationals with visas that don’t permit them to legally work the kinds of hours these people work; it’s extremely difficult to get away with this…

Sure, but such practices are much less legal in some other first world countries. We’ve just a had a similar scandal in Australia about 7-11 colluding with franchisees to pay staff as little as half the minimum wage, & it didn’t require staff to sue to get something done about it:

“So, the cups were a temperature? Or a weight? Or some type of measurement I’ve never heard of?”