Three home runs is gonna be his max. He’s a big fan of another guy who really only connected with the wood three times.

I read that his name was Grayson and was unsurprised by his take.

Did you just write about a unique bat and then not post any pictures of it?

I know that this comment is very old—like you, most likely—but I hope that you’re still around to read this: Dogshit is better than you.

Came here for bears on a fence, stayed for sexy lady sounds.

Those bears are black, and, while we should keep our distance from both, I think the black ones are more dangerous than the brown ones... At least that’s what Jeff Sessions told me. He never explicitly mentioned bears, but I’m sure that’s what he meant.

Best Kotaku article I’ve ever read, along with a valuable life lesson.

My interpretation was that I’m not JUST a cunt, but a veritable bag of them (joke’s on them, I’m a Gen X cunt bag).

For the love of God please let Derek Fisher still be on the roster when they next meet the Red Sox, so he can go up against relief pitcher Matt Barnes.

Fried pickle spears > fried pickle chips.

“50 coaches and staff members?!”

So Tiger was driving a $200,000 Mercedes Benzodiazepine?

Did they change their names later in the game?

If a ballplayer goes 5 for 5 with 4 homers and 10 runs batted in while wearing camouflage making it impossible for both the opposition and the crowd in attendance to see him did it really happen?

Are you implying this odor is indica-tive of Cleveland’s focus and preparation? 

“We don’t care who gets cut out, so long as we’re cut in.”

Me too. Someone has to eat the last Buffalo Wing.

I so wanted this to be them fighting eachother

The metal detectors are also so no one smuggles in a trombone and plays the sad trombone sound when someone misses a word

Translation: Wow! How did they build that with only poor brown people?!?