Did he get away? I need closure, dammit!

But what if our subjective theories on elitism are just manifestations of our Id’s desires for conflict, which the NFL has fostered through its glorification of violence, but our current societal environment disproves of?

Unless the Texans can make a good quarterback turnip, they're going to keep getting beet.

One source said the procedure Pierre-Paul had done Sept. 4 to “close up” his middle finger was still fresh when he met with team doctors on Sept. 7.

So a group of people dominated an area for many years until outsiders moved in, took over everything, and routinely massacred the original inhabitants. Interesting.

“If the ref didn’t want to be assaulted, he shouldn’t have been in that situation. Or dressed that way.”

If you try to run a trick play while the defense plays with 10 men to honor a dead teammate, this deserves to happen to you.

Hmm... pretty good. I’ll give it a 9 out of 10.

Heavens no. I live in the deep south.

Last night, she retired after 649 consecutive games.

Honest question from a soccer neophyte:

What about Gawker Media?

Fine, I get it. You win, Burneko. You have two boys, so you can write something perfect like this. I have two girls and I’m reading reviews on Amazon for leotards.

If you stop the clip at 9.03 seconds, you’ll see that Pete Carroll moves back, and to the left, prior to being struck by the official. What caused him to move like that? Was there a second stringer?

Subtle.

The last time I saw that many personlized handshakes Michael J. Fox was sending out Christmas cards.

“Beer, head trauma, and the lesser of two evils!” That’s pure America right there, bahgod.

So who’s dumber, the guy who got his jaw broken over $600, or the guy who lost his job over $600?

The white balls were 10 cents more on Amazon.

Misinterpreting the meaning of “making it rain”