Lucille breaks while hitting a Chris Sale fastball.

I kept trying to figure out what I’d done to deserve this.

Yards have a lot of sticks. I recently acquired a yard and SO MANY STICKS.  

tater. no. they will break off the engagement and pete will somehow come running to me (idc that he’s in nyc and i’m in indiana) and i will comfort him and he will rest his head on my bosom and we will be happy together. and he will cover up his ariana tattoos with tattoos dedicated to me and we’ll spend so much time…

We literally know all the stuff you just said, otherwise you wouldn’t know it.

Laura Dern’s performance in Enlightenment was amazing. So raw and real it was almost uncomfortable, but also funny!

There is ONE thing that has bugged me with this show. Elizabeth’s smoking. It’s such a small thing, but the acting on this show (from Keri especially) is so fucking good that it’s REALLY distracting to see Elizabeth not inhale during her chain smoking. I can’t be the only one bothered by that, right? 

Her maiden name was Stein. She should have gone for the hyphenate.

I heard he was remaking Good Times but I can’t tell when Black Twitter is trolling me.

“Look at me.
Look at me.
This is my look now.”

No. It’s fair. I complain about Trump & Minions (LTD) at least that amount.

It’s almost as if we have always lived in a patriarchal power structure where (mostly rich, white) males hold power at every level of government and court and are incentivized either consciously or subconsciously to maintain and exploit their power.

So don’t go, sad celebrities. Rihanna’s going to look better than you anyway.

You looked up your burner key to give a star to a guy who stole one of Rodney Dangerfield’s oldest jokes? You need to get out more, my friend.

My theory about Dick Cheney - who is magically still alive - has always been that he’s a soul reaper, and he’s never denied it.

What if said cop has no underlying issues to address, is certifiably cute and adorably obsessed?

Maya Rudolph is my everything.

An HIV episode of Three’s Company? I do not think this happened.

Elizabeth is the younger sister of the Olsen Twins. Facebook is a website that was the the focus of an Aaron Sorkin film starring Michael Cera.

direct to consumer marketing, marketing to prescribers, playing down the impact of opioids and the risk of addiction, promoting the use of other opioids by saying one in particular was less “addictive”.....this is just off of the top of my head.