I detected anarchy but also a jaw-dropping amount of cluelessness about how the world works, how the government works, how individuals work, and a complete lack of knowledge about the Earth revolving around the sun.

Get Melissa McCarthy to do it!

White Christian males are the most oppressed bigots on the planet.

yours truly,
Milo Y.

Titus agrees.

Hey Bobby, where do watermelons go in the summer? Answer: John Cougar’s Meloncamp. Carry on.

And he looks really hot without a tie!!

DAMN that man photographs well.

and the crowd went mild

The original unedited tweet was WHAH WHAH FAKE NEWS STUPID DINNER BIGGEST ELECTORAL WIN IN HISTORY WHAH WHAH WHAH

Hell, go all out and have Alex Baldwin as Trump and Melissa McCarthy as Sean Spicer.

Leslie Jones should sit in as Trump. Doesn’t have to say a word. Just sit next to the comic and pout.

Fun fact! MANY enlisted military families are dependent on social programs like WIC, which the right is always trying to defund/destroy. It’s a pattern- they don’t want to pay them enough where they don’t need these types of programs, and they also don’t want to fund the programs. So military families are supposed to…

The only thing I can say is THANK FUCKING GOD it wasn’t John Bolton.

Chaffetz, too. Must be included. He looks like a punching bag and a hamster fucked and shat out a lovechild

I’m guessing it’s the enemy of my enemy type of thing.

She used to be Bradley Cooper’s girlfriend who went to another school.

Obviously, U2 has a new album soon... hopefully, it’s not forced upon us all

“Stop believing the media.” Dude I just saw you retweet Fox News.

Welcome to Deadspin, Curt.

And the overwrought prose to match, interrupted briefly by a “because X” grating-Jezebel-commenter turn of phrase.