All the stars to the lady entrepreneur who out-trolled Mr. Shit-on-me.

Me, with "awesome." And I don't apologize.

"On fleek" basically means "on point." Which I don't really get why we needed, but hey the youths gonna make up words regardless of what we olds think.

I am an old. One definition Urban Dictionary gives of "fleek" is "swavy" and this does not help me understand what fleek means...

Cameron Diaz and Jonathan Franzen think alike. Did not expect that Venn diagram.

Listen, I want my Cinderella clothing made by adorable rodents and birds who are crack tailors.

I'm pretty sure doing things in order to get validation from strangers is how society happened. Oh god I hope you all like this comment.

It seems Justin Beiber is unaware of how roasts work. They are done by people who actually like you and coming from a place of admiration. Begging someone who hates you to do your roast is the exact opposite of that.

I had (of course) no grasp of gender roles and social dynamics at that age, but I do recall that The Rescuers and The Jungle Book were my favorites, and I envied the shit out of Snow White since apparently every damn adorable animal in the forest wanted to be her BFF.

When will translucent garbage fabric go out of style? Even if I liked the Once Upon A Time shirt, it would look stupid on top of a white camisole which I'd inevitably have to wear unless I'm going for risqué Cinderelly.

Hot dogs and hamburgers can handle like 2-3 ingredients. The, what, 18 you guys use is just gilding the lily.

Chicago is an island amidst a sea of casseroles, even if you guys a) make a weird casserole and call it pizza, and b) put WAY too much shit on your hot dogs.

I was once in a "fancy" Chinese restaurant in Chicago for my birthday and they had just waxed the floors. EVERYONE was falling down. Servers, customers, everyone. It was bizarre and hilarious. The management was losing their minds over how many meals they were comping. I wiped out before I even got to my table. My…

Pork Wine. The OTHER white wine.

Mayo is the devil's condiment.

Iknowrite? Of all the millions of euphemisms for female genitalia there are, 'daintiness' might actually be new to me. xD Ladies, protect that daintiness and defend it to the death against all marauders AND encroaching marriage-destroying odorific bacteria!

A woman, who happens to be a rapper using a gothic style of music, is on trial for the death of a patient after giving illegal butt injections, names celebrity Amber Rose as a client.

And my personal favourite, Lysol was once marketed as a vaginal douche.

Gothic Rapper on Trial For Butt Injection Death Name-Drops Amber Rose