If Manziel was a cartoonish figure (which he is) surely there must be a black cloud over his head where ever he goes.

Manziel penis in a hot dog bun?

Manziel told me if I don't want him because his penis is small, when he gets drafted by the NFL he will get a penis enlargement and he'll be Long John Silvers.

it's his version of the wanking motion

Not enough feet.

He's super cereal, guys.

You really gave 110% with this comment...

Gives his trademark hand gesture a whole new meaning.

and javoin shower-handle

I'm still upset that Lol Obama-Butthole wasn't drafted.

"Do you know what this is? It's Johnny Manziel jerking off with his giant hands just for the waitresses."

Johnny said to the police officer when he got pulled over, "Yes officer, I blew a .345, but SHE just blew a 3.45...EHHHHH!?!?!! EHHHHHH?!?!?!"

Assuming the case survives the summary judgment stage, Manziel should have no problems winning on the merits given the overwhelming evidence in his favor that he is a giant dick.

Making up names is fun.

I couldn't agree more. Well, maybe 30% more.

I guess those Brett Favre comparisons weren't total bullshit after all

Asked about putting a hot dog "between his penis," Manziel declined to comment beyond saying, "I'm frankly split on the issue."

Is there any doubt Rex Ryan is behind this?

luv that judereon clowney, glad he went before my other favorite player, blork buttles

I immediately begin to question the veracity of a defense that uses any percent over 100