It's like Hunter couldn't believe both of his i's.

Yeah, that's the worst. They ruin the spot. They need to get their own spot.

Co-workers cannot be emphasized enough. If I see a co-worker on the street (or anywhere in public) before they see me, I basically turn into Solid Snake in trying to stealthily avoid them.

Better yet wait until it's on cable and then forget to watch it because it's not worth it.

We also know from the trailers and commercials that there's product placement for Hooters. And considering that the film transplants Sandler to Africa, I'd say the chances of there being "jokes at the expense of physical abnormality or ethnicity" is pretty damn close to 100%.

Tolerable + Adam Sandler = Punch Drunk Love.

But he's got a clipboard! A CLIPBOARD. That's official-like.

Dear Clipboard People, while I am often ok with your causes, I would not give my mother money on the street if she was collecting it so my sister could get a bone marrow transplant.

ANYONE holding a brick. To me there is no reason why someone should be standing on a city street holding one brick. I have used this guideline more than once.

Add to that list: Anyone carrying a clipboard.

"Greenpeace volunteers handing out flyers—no, I do not have a minute to save the world."

Anyone with a clipboard is number one with a bullet.

"Group of teenagers," regardless of race or attire or what noise they are making, is the only category that I will consistently cross the street to get away from regardless of the circumstances. Most other people I'll just put my head down and walk by if I don't see an open weapon or obvious signs of intoxication,…

I haven't been able to go into the grocery store for about a year and a half without some guy standing near the door asking me if I like conscious hip hop. Related: I now always wear headphones to the grocery store.

People selling their rap CDs. "I am a cross between Macklemore and Jay-Z." Ok, well I am a cross between believing you are full of shit and not willing to part with $10.00.

Music is not one of my areas of expertise, but I do want it to be known that every time I hear Pitbull I consider putting an F3 to my chest and pulling the trigger.

Nearly six years ago (February 29th, 2008 to be precise), I lost my favorite jacket.

Those are the worst. "Oh, you have an English proverb translated into Latin tattooed on your ribcage. I mean you totally fucked up the translation so that the sentence isn't even grammatically correct in Latin, but still - you're so cultured and deep!"

The trashiest place to get a tattoo is clearly prison.