This seems to be (or is on its way to being) common practice at these town halls. It really makes for very effective visual that communicate a pretty unambiguous message.

I appreciate the headline specifying “car DRIVER”. It wasn’t a rogue driverless car (I assume) that struck and killed him- a human being driving that car is responsible. (I’d like to see that highlighted in the body as much as in the headline...)

Perfect. (also, how many people will have no idea what this references?)

Yeah, a few good finger smashes and they start to figure it out, but I am truly amazed at the end of every day when nothing particularly awful has befallen him and his teeny body. I also have learned I’m much more athletic than I ever knew... last week I sprinted across the house and slid the last 6 feet to catch him…

My husband did the same thing and then was actually quite graceful in the apology that immediately followed his sheepish cringe. 

Bad guess, sorry.

You had me until that last part. It would be totally awesome if people who are in the process of standing up for something righteous could refrain from using super female-gendered insults to make their point...

It still is incredible to me that these athletes are so closely matched in skill, strength, conditioning, and talent that they could have so many ties, even at hundredths of seconds. It’s really amazing to me. That being said, thanks for a really great article. You should be an official Olympic correspondent.

I totally lost it at “your mouth is in your asshole.” I can’t stop laughing.

You just vaulted to the top of my list of favorite Olympics-realted commenters.

I am SO EXCITED for the Olympics to begin. Between the imaginary velodrome, the boa constrictor-filled golf course, the Vanessa Carlton-fueled USA Basketball dominance, and all the rowers’ arms falling off their bodies mid-race with a little help from some necrotizing fasciitis, this shit show is going to be world…

Dang, noted. A more experienced brewer suggested the vodka. Haven’t had an issue yet, but don’t want one, especially with something as simple as that. Thank you!

He’ll need to turn the water into hard liquor to safely disinfect that shit.

My most updated rendition. *Clears throat*

FAVORITE Trump description so far. Where is that running list?

I’m guessing many if not all the gentlemen recording this event were doing so with Instagram, but for the love of god can someone please dedicate 5 minutes of spring training next year to teaching them all how to shoot landscape?

Do y’all really not have a single person on staff who could have translated this? Like, not a single Spanish speaker in all of the Gawker Media network?

Desert Storm. Reading the list above made me say, “Oh my god, they’re so OLD!” aaaand “Oh my god, they’re so YOUNG!”

My husband’s reaction to this news: “But he’s starting for me tonight! Should I bench him?”

She might not care much about the opinions of anonymous (or not) online commenters, but she DOES care about the people who actually vote (or don’t) for her and she’s up for re-election this year. I hope this reminds all of us sport people how much IT ACTUALLY MATTERS when you take the time to call or email your rep…