I'm sorry, but…

Ah, I love the biting wit of the Newswire.

I feel like most of my comments are waste.

It's all a conspiracy by the moon-faking blood-drinking holocaust-supporting tall-building-exploding world-bank-holding Govampanaziterrojews! Wake up, lambpulace!

Hey, you're pretty good.

Shit, someone made this comment already in a different article. I guess that's what I get for not being awake at 3 AM.

Everybody's talking at me
I can't hear a word they're saying
Driving around in Jayne Mansfield's Car…

That's my cue!

Humorbot 5.0, ladies and gentlemen!

Just like at the movie theater! WOOO!

I don't think I need or want to read your comment, but I'll just assume you said something about how overrated Corgis are.

Look at you, discussing the origins of a joke like a couple of Rory Calhouns.

Maybe we're not so different after all.

You might be thinking of Hohoq.

I don't see what the big deal is, he didn't call anyone autistic.

SO MUCH FOR MY HAh fuck it

More like hateronormative.

Would you say it's time to crack open the movie executives' heads and feast on the goo inside?

Pardon me?

This is no Snacks'n Jaxson.