...in which Rice reportedly "showed him more videotape than... everybody has seen."

Rice: Thanks a lot sweetie, I've been suspended two games.

[Ray and Janay Rice walk into the commissioners office to find Goodell sitting in a large ornate chair]

lol, considering I'm a Mormon and married, you're probably right.

I'm just here for Beaker.

Thanks, i'll check it out! I don't know why Discovery channel execs chose now to "discover" acid, but I wish they'd stop holding focus groups with junkies in the throws of fever-dreams. Nature doesn't need gimmicks. It's motherf%$@ing Nature.

I remember when Shark Week's main message was combating irrational fears of sharks to help foster conservation. At least the racism of Ancient Aliens hasn't made it's way over yet?

In this World Cup, I've now seen two game changing free kicks awarded as a result of this pussified flopping. I'm trying real hard to be a soccer fan but I will never jump on board as long as I have to watch about ten minutes per match of guys faking whatever the hell it is that they're faking. It's the opposite of…

Here's what the referee awarded the free kick for.

Why Germany Won't Hand the U.S. A Draw

The U.S. has a handful of wins against European teams. Unless you meant in the WC? Even then, the U.S. beat England in 1950 and Portugal in 2002. Does anyone fact check?

i feel like the rule of thumb when there has been a foul, especially in the box, should be:

Once he sees the replay, however, I imagine he'll be put on seppuku watch.

I know FIFA is far too inept for this to ever happen, but they need to start giving out yellow cards for dives after the fact. It's pretty clear that the Brazilians have no shame about flopping (or anything...this is the country that gave us the man-thong after all), but maybe after half the team goes into the next…

TL;DR

You didn't hear about the time Cruise nearly killed Oprah with his Sith lightning?

Now let's not get our knickers ( I said KNICKERS) in a bunch over such a small issue. This is but a miniscule speed bump. Too overinflate American Joe's response to such a tiny issue is akin to making a mountain out of a mole hill. Now, I'm no shrinking violet and I can understand you being a bit taken aback because…