I’m embarrassed for the people who have made her (and the rest of her clan) famous and who continue to support her relevance.  Also quite pitiful.  

I have a small ceramic pot, sealed, that I've been trying to remember, for years, who's in it, either my old boyfriend or my best cat ever, Pumpkin Andy. No idea, to be honest.  I'm just blank.

This is almost as embarrassing as that news story of the guy who drove his whole family across the country just to find the park was closed, so he took a security guard hostage and forced the poor guy to ride all the rides with them. People are crazy.

But but but- I JUST finished Bridgerton and he carries that show on his well-muscled back! I don’t (looks around in confusion)- I mean I don’t- what am I going to do without milady porn to look forward to?

With his incredible fame, he’s probably grown too big for his Bridgertons.

Wait, is All Creatures Great and Small considered a horny English drama in the US?? Is it just because they’re British!? The original was a proper cosy, Sunday teatime, all generations watching kind of show and the new one is just the same, I thought!

I call ‘shenanigans’ on anyone saying that is proper kipping pullup form - I DONT do cross-fit (just your boring ol regular pull-ups), but a simple youtube video search of kipping pullups (had to do it to figure out what it was...) will show you that her form at the top of her pull-up is terrible, she is rolling her…

Ahem.

I stopped reading at “Lena Dunham.” That’s all I really need to know.

This is what happens when Prince Albert is allowed out of the can.

I used to be the queen of passive-aggression and this, my friend, is not passive-aggression. This is war.

I feel this woman to the depth of my bones. 

I am feeling this.  She is giving me blonde Joan Jett vibes and I like it. 

It’s never too late to win the breakup. 

GO TAMS.

NO ONE is as hot as young James Spader.

He’s more of a Zayde than a Peepaw. 

Slow down there, buddy. That's real linguine on Rand's head.

Ah, the Hieronymus Bosch playset. Potatoes dug from the Garden of Earthly Delights.

Bryndwaun? Zimwe? Shmurda? Safaree? Not a clue who any of them are. I guess I am old.