Nick Chavez looks like he just stepped out of a JibJab short.

Oh, hey, Olivia Palermo's dress = my laptop cover. We're obviously bosom buddy material. Please buy me something to prove your friendship.

I'm humongously fat and am able to both wipe my ass and wear tampons without difficulty. Where's my fucking gold star?

It's because they're too malnourished to be able to have good posture. That takes a little bit of musculature on the frame to pull off.

Well shit. There goes my quantitative research analyst career.

<— Morbidly obese and doesn't have a problem with it. I see my doctor every one, three, or six months, depending on how my medical problems are going. Keeping an eye on health should always trump embarrassment. I'm sure it'd be embarrassing for your boyfriend to get that weird thing on his peen looked at, but I'd bet…

Is that I find this post's comments the funniest shit ever mean I'm gross and destined to be alone?

Omigawd I must squeeeeeeeeesh!

YES! I'm from there! I shall have to visit these ladies.

@sumac: I was at a small airport in CA where the luggage inspection was fairly open to the waiting area a few years ago. Dude went through my toy pillow in front of about thirty people with a little smirk on his face the whole time.

I spend $50 on my haircuts, but only cut it twice a year at most. I only spend that much because I have shit tons of curly hair, and apparently not many cosmologists around here can handle it well. When I found one, I attached to her like a baby gorilla and won't let go, no matter how much she costs. Cutting it myself…

@VoxPopuli: TN has lots of truck nuts. I haven't been out of this area much, so I don't know about non-Deliverance areas. I hope you don't see any in civilized country. I'd hate for the strain little-dick tard syndrome found here to spread.

As a Buddhist, I'm not supposed to think this way, but I would rather like to visit some hurt upon this man.

@Mav: Dinosaurs were on the ark, so around about then.

I thought she was a four-legged chicken for a sec there.