I’m all for principled stands, but why can't a well-known athlete bite his/her tongue, stand in front of a bunch of cameras and meet the President, and launch a freedom rocket or two right in his eye?

Actually, he’s just an asshole who can throw a small ball with velocity.

Baseball players are assholes. FTFY

Pitchers are assholes, starting pitchers are gaping assholes, when the manager asks for the ball, give it to him and sit your diva ass down.

The last decade, mortgage rates have been historically low and stock market growth historically high, so you really shouldn’t be paying for your houses with cash. Use it for the road trip strip clubs and coke.

If you ain’t cheatin’ you ain’t Trine.

Not to mention the importance of separation.

Courtney Smith was also at the school to pick up the kids, and Zach “was not to pick up their children until after 6 p.m.,” presumably not from the school.

OH MY GOD COME ON!!!! Whether Rendon was right or wrong, that was a bullshit ejection. Players have to be allowed to be angry and demonstrative for as long as it takes for the amphetamines to wear off.

CB Bucknor is a terrible ump. Not as bad as Angel Hernandez (no one is), but pretty bad.

I thought it was anal, like the Catholics. That way you don’t mess up your glittery lip gloss.

Cucumbers and Italian squash are ok, tho, right?

I dunno, if they also bring a baguette...

But my butthole is still an option, right?

Pretty sure he would have missed all of them anyway.

NSFW

“Hey, what are we talking about?” - Mike Unt

Actually the switch panel is in the correct orientation. The rest of the car is backwards.

Sick and tired of reading about all these rich, old guys getting off. 

“Stop saying jets are a disaster!”