Not a particularly attractive suspect rendering.

Also needing to be questioned, how in the hell is Cal letting his Mom drive in a 14 year old Lincoln Town car. Step up your game Iron Man, get your Mom a new fucking car every 5 years.

I feel like it should be a red flag if a prostitute uses the term "intercourse."

You left out another helpful habit: gradually turn down the thermostat as part of your winding down routine. That's the other big part of your sleep rhythm that people overlook. Darker and cooler tells your body its time to get sleepy.

This is my favorite comment of all time.

I thought it came from the game Altered Beast.

Sometimes, when the atmospheric conditions in Arizona are just right, the fire alarm levers pull themselves.

Next Bob will demand an apology from anyone who has suggested his young girlfriend is only with him for his money.

Is she blowing a sleestak?

Miko: This is like putting these players through 2 car crashes a week! They don't care about the players, they care about the money!

After seeing her cake, Miko Grimes' emergency oral surgery doesn't come as a huge surprise.

This is why Rush Limbaugh likes to weigh himself on cold days

That's why you post a video in your Facebook feed, Russ, then nobody from the NFL will ever see it.

The league's security apparatus sure is quick and thorough on such important matters.

Time to start a Change.org petition to make sure his replacement is named Kenneth.

MRSA > MRAs.

So Heath publicly exposed himself as as a**hole? Good job!