Hurricane Jose. Hurricane Katia. Hurricane Maria.

I have been on the phone with my mom who lives in San Juan and she has never been this scared of a hurricane before. My parents’ house is solidly built and well out of flooding areas (even with a massive storm surge) but she is really scared. She says everyone is scared.

The number you have reached, EPA.GOV, has been disconnected. Won’t you please check your listings and try again? *beep*

Yes, I know all of this. There are other aspects to the South Asian situation that I will not delineate since it would only reinforce exactly the aspect that has no place in the article at all.

So, I saw the news about this acid attack on the news, and then saw this picture of Sean Spicer and did a double take:

It’s not important that the acid attacks in South Asia are mostly acts of domestic violence, with abusive husbands attempting to murder/disfigure their wives by throwing acid on them (not just, or even mostly, by muslim men - Hindus, too, though religion doesn’t play a part in it. It’s more of a cultural problem) and…

One thing to note about this figure is that experts are attributing the rise in attacks in London to male-on-male gang violence. I just point this out because I associate acid attacks with domestic violence and whenever I see statistics about acid attacks would assume it was men attacking women.

Mark Wahlberg, is that you?

The attacker was a 41 year old mentally ill woman.

Have one on me. Later, I will just close my eyes and think of Old Pink.

She always seems really cool, but David Cross seems to me like an absolute douche. I do not like him. I agree that with James Woods that a relationship between a 17-year-old and a 24-year-old is absolutely creepy, but this shit happens all the damn time. And James Woods is a hypocrite - also, Woody Allen has a…

Do we millenials not like Rosemary’s Baby? They should really start making a newsletter. Old people are constantly informing me of what things I like or dislike, or know or are ignorant of based on my age, and somehow I’m never properly conforming to their expectations. It’s almost as though most humans are difficult…

Minus ten points from Gryffindor for pointless use of the word ‘triggered’.

This could be one of the best film reviews I’ve read in a while:

JLaw just isn’t good, people. I’ve trying to tell you but I keep getting my ass kicked.

The first one combines two of my least favorite people in the world: people who invite parents to their wedding and tell them not to bring their kids

This is what happened when one of college friends got married. She got married at a very high-end, fancy private country club that was NOT child-friendly. She and her fiance specifically put on the invitations NO CHILDREN and several people called begging to bring their children.

For what it’s worth, this is actually one of the few times the advice doesn’t make me want to bang my head up against the wall after reading it.

“We’ll see about that.” BOOM uninvited. Disrespect wrapped up in a threat. That alone tells me that she finds herself more important than her sister’s wedding.

I still can’t tell if this “advice” column is supposed to be serious, or if there’s just some inside joke I’m not getting. This can’t be real advice, can it?