My preferred method of Victorian transportation is private rail car moving full steam while scores of Chinamen lay track before my velvet-lined iron beast. As I roll by them, I’d toss white lilies on the bodies of the hardest workers from the etched glass window my dogsbody opened for me.

Me right now

HOT TAKE: Maybe Garden State wasn’t actually that bad?

You know what? I liked Garden State and I kind of loved the soundtrack. You know what else I liked? (500) Days of Summer.

There’s absolutely nothing shitty about the Aztek aside from its weird looks. It predicted the crossover market years before people ditched their SUVs for them. Dynamically, it’s an extremely good vehicle.

I’m only speaking of personal situations, mind you. I didn’t make any generalizations outside of my own familiar territory. I know there are plenty of good people in the GOP who dislike much about it. Just like there are plenty of lousy Democrats. In the parking lot of life you will get run over by a Republican with a…

Here is what I’ve learned : people who are not happy do not want others to be happy. Do you believe that you are happy? Do you believe the people you are around are happy? Truly happy? The only people I know in my life who vote GOP have had some major tragedy or failure in their life, and want someone to blame. The…

I don’t understand people who say Soccer is boring and then go and watch Baseball. The last time I went to a baseball game with my friends (ticket was free). I wanted to kill myself. It was seriously the most boring thing EVER and every single play felt like it had 10 minutes of waiting in between. I mean Jesus…

“So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you!”

But then he would have a red flag, so he wouldn’t be red flagged for not having any red flags anymore, so that red flag would be rendered moot, which would mean he would have no red flags, which would be a red flag, which would mean his lack of red flags wasn’t a red flag anymore, which would take away his red flag,…

Self-serving nonsense from a liar and a cheat. Brady’s statements should be treated with the same derision as Goodell’s. Goodell is not a tyrant for attempting to police on-field misconduct. That’s basically the only kind of misconduct he can properly investigate and punish.

I think the arrangement on Hotel California is incredible on that live album. I get that their music is cheesy, which I’m guessing is why it’s so fashionable to hate on the Eagles, but I still maintain they made great pop/country music.

Ugh, Italy has like...pee tubes. I don’t really know how to describe it - its like the single person bathroom is a shower stall with a medium sized pipe in the middle and you have to try and aim into it. Which is HORRIBLE when you’re a) drunk and b) wearing heels.

I used to work at a gas station back in high school (in the US.) I had to deal with that more than a few times. “Hoverers” piss me off. Look, with western-style sitting toilets, your “tailpipe” does not point straight down; it points back somewhat. So when you have the trots, and hover over the seat because you…

A cat would just repeatedly hit the red button in a conscious attempt at annihilating humanity.

Nah man, he’s 2015’s Ryan Gosling. Just a little more muscle.

Honestly, when the first article on this came out I thought it was some kind of elaborate joke. I’m not sure whether to be delighted or horrified that it isn’t.

At the end of the day having a backup camera is a very good thing. It saves lives. I personally know someone whose daughter probably would not have died if it had been on the vehicle in question.

In fairness, he spent several minutes afterwards explaining that he was being facetious.

I think he's implying that it just happened to be in a list of facts Cowherd was rattling off about the state as a whole, not that Cowherd found it to be a superior feature.