“Houston’s queerness, her family’s disapproval of it, and her business’ impact on it weave their way through the film’s first act in a way that leaves the audience curious.”

Hear me out. I do this as a lark to make it through the mind-numbing monotony of a 9-5 desk job. I’m entertaining myself and getting some creative weight-lifting out of it, which helps me with the 9-5. Is it amazing? Fuck no! But I’m not doing it for money or with the intended purpose of entertaining you or anyone else…

Shut it. I don’t come down to where you work and dip your dumb dick in the fryer. You’re sadder than Dyan Cannon.

Sorry folks - I know you want the Gene Shalitt take on the Avatar: Wayward Waters, but it seems old Gene’s press pass was revoked. This week, the press came under attack as the press was denied access to one of the largest modern institutions.

Academy season has begun! Let the award-trolling puff pieces for movies that left theaters 5 months ago commence! One more article about how difficult it was for Olivia Wilde to wrangle a dramatic performance from Nick Kroll and the girl from NBC’s Heroes, please!

If it doesn’t sell a single ticket, it will be reported that it’s the highest grossing everything.

Leave it to the wizards in Hollywood to turn a tale of mixed-up luggage into a magical tale of star-crossed lovers! Something from Tiffany’s is a spiritual successor to Blake Edward’s 1961 delight Breakfast at Tiffany’s, starring Mickey Rooney as a Chinaman who shouts at hookers. Well for this reviewer, all I could…

But what is Ain’t it Cool News saying?

Ol’ Gene was the first to predict back in 2010 that a Brand New Bite at the Blue Babes of Smurfville would Bring in Boffo B.O. and Big Bucks for Bigelow’s Bounced Boy-toy, but everyone said I was having a stroke!

Judith Crist once famously said “Gene, can you please change seats! Your breath smells like rotting asshole!”

“the jab”—that is, a vaccine show to prevent infection from a virus that killed millions of people”

“Disney’s grievances with Chapek—who, among other things, alienated its vaunted animation department with statements suggesting their output was consumed only by children”

Okay fine, write one for Blade Runner if you’re so cool.

Oh Holy Shit - it’s Terry!

A step backwards in the cinematic battle of the sexes in this belated sequel to the 1991 Ken Kwapis/Marisa Silver VHS shrugger, He Said, She Said. It was no Front Page when Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern duked it out in 1991, but it was delightful at times as the titular He and She traded barbs and bon mots on…

I honestly thought it was Stephanie Beatriz from Brooklyn 99 before I put on my reading glasses and looked at the words.

Finding Slumberland is anything but as snooze as Jason Momoa finds his inner Munchausen in the best, sure to confuse American audiences, weird looking foreign-property since someone decided Americans cared about Tin-Tin. Ron Livingston does some career-passable work as widowed dad dealing with the guilt of naming his…

I may have been raised Jewish, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love a good Christmas ham under the tree! The whole gang’s back (again) for the 2nd 2nd sequel to Bob Clark’s Christmas Classic! The kid sure didn’t grow up pretty, and he isn’t half the Night Before Christmas Stalker that Darren McGavin was, but you’ll…

“Plus we’re getting …. Bill Murray as a mystery villain”

I referred to J*** Gyllanhall’s character in Brokeback Mountain as a sexual predator. Do you really think I give a shit what that ukelele playing idiot thinks?