You take that back, the truffle fries are delicious.

Former barista and I don't doubt it in the slightest unfortch. People are awful.

There’s a limit on the birthday and reward drinks as far as cost goes.

Seriously. I think it would take a significant amount of time to realize something actually serious was happening, because stopped traffic is just business as usual.

I have a cat. I'm totally screwed.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

YOU CAN TEAR YOUR URETHRA?!

Definitely this. I take a stimulant for ADHD and you will definitely hear me say some variation on “amphetamines are the literal greatest thing on the planet” at least once a week. Does that mean I think everyone should go out and do meth? Hell no. I am just stoked as fuck that I am on a medication that allows me to…

My stepmom got an engagement house instead of a ring. 100000% more practical.

Why am I even talking to you

Me: “Just because some women don’t like being in that position doesn’t mean that a guy who doesn’t take their SO’s car for an oil change isn’t a good guy.”

literally me for the rest of this election

Also, for the record, I’ve never gotten a sales pitch from someone changing my oil. My experience is usually something like:
Me: Hi, I need an oil change for my 2010 Impreza, synthetic, please.
Them: Okay, cool. It’ll be done in x time.
*After*
Them: Hey, you’re going to need a service soon, you’re coming up on x…

okay, bruh. I’ll be sure to let my boyfriend know that he actually sucks as a person for not swooping in and doing something that I don’t mind doing because some women might be uncomfortable doing it for themselves, and that going forward he should def be a real man and infantalize me by insisting on doing things I’m…

Just because some women don’t like being in that position doesn’t mean that a guy who doesn’t take their SO’s car for an oil change isn’t a good guy. The only reason I would expect my boyfriend to take my car for an oil change is if it were more convenient for him to do it than me, and vice versa. IDGAF about the…

SO PUMPED

Or, you know, maybe she was at risk for problems relating to withdrawal or acting erratically. It's actually pretty relevant information.

my boyfriend and i have passes (we live in orange county) and we go a couple of times a month. i’ve ridden all the good rides like a dozen times this year because we go on weeknights after i’m off work. definitely the way to go.

Or “and then I went in the back and kicked holes in boxes.” Starbucks was a frustrating place to work, sometimes.

Do you also kill phone batteries? I have a similar issue with watches and it seems to negatively impact my phone batteries as well- I got a 6 Plus less than three months ago and I'm already having to charge it in the middle of the day.