Went to Gettysburg when I was a kid with my mother, my brother, and my grandmother. My grandmother, who can’t drive for shit, drove the whole way and refused to let my mother take the wheel. So we were treated to her constantly stopping on the goddamn interstate to check and see if she had missed her exit, while cars…

Thanks. The more details I offer, the more tragic it sounds, which is just ridiculous. (As in, he died the day after my parents’ wedding anniversary, the funeral was the day before my birthday, and I had to go to all my classes during the first week of school with a note asking to excuse my absence later that week so…

This story involves ALL THE SPIDERS! You have been warned. I went to visit family when I was 13. My family amd I ate neurotic about cleanliness. First night there I had my lower left leg bitten by spiders and had 19 spider bites the next morning. Next night, my upper leg left and some of my back. The third night, I…

I’m totally ok with opposing opinions. But I’m totally NOT OKAY with being called (direct quote here) “fucking stupid,” which is why you’re last comment was dismissed. That does not add to discourse, whereas your comment here actually does.

This is the second time you’re making this comment. Clearly you’re not interested in opposing opinions but I’ll make my piece anyway: I would be okay with this woman being in the NAACP and rocking these hairstyles if she was honest about her racial background. But that wasn’t enough for her. She had to take on the…

Peter Jackson: “Alright, have you found someone to play Saruman yet?”

I get that and am sympathetic to that because I am a man and society tells me the same thing, however, there are literally billions (on second thought at least hundreds of millions) of men who are doing just fine, including me, without having to sexually harass their coworkers

Forget the ridiculous third reason for a moment. Why do there seem to be so many otherwise intelligent people who don’t seem to understand that the vast majority of the time it’s not appropriate to act on your sexual impulses? Literally everyday of the week I work with and walk by women that I am attracted to,…

Working at a fast food joint, the manager was a really nice man who did charity work with immigrant children on the side, was endlessly cheerful, and so on. I’m working drive-through. Customer orders his food in heavily accented English, and gets abusively irate when I ask him (politely) to repeat his order. I’m…

It can totally happen when you’re near your due date. I had horrible post-partum depression symptoms starting a week before I gave birth.

Part of me thinks that it might have something to do with prepartum depression. It can be just as serious and mind-altering as postpartum can get.

My mom did that shit to me when I was a kid, on top of all sorts of other things. I’d come home to military school catalogs on the kitchen table. My heart breaks for this girl.

I’d like to be happy that some kind of justice is being done, but organizations like this attract corruption. Whoever runs the show will be offered millions to hold the World Cup in Sierra Leone or Honduras and some one will accept that influence. Odds are it will be back to business as usual in a few years.

So which equally corrupt and morally bankrupt bribemaster is gonna replace him as the de facto figurehead of FIFA then?

Admittedly, I don’t have one, so I may just not get it...but good lord, why are some men so completely enamored of their dicks that they think we’re all just waiting for an opportunity to get a glimpse (or more) of it?? I’ve been flashed, sent unsolicited dick pics, had my hand grabbed and forced to touch them...I…

Damn it, you people do NOT understand that some of us are taking Chantix and the freaky nightmare potential is like a million times worse than usual.

Really, the blonde dressed like a banana didn’t need to stand there being “in distress.” Grab a wrench, Elisabeth!

Pro tip: Just because you’re conservative doesn’t mean you have to defend everything Fox News does. Just like liberals don’t have to defend everything MSNBC does. Fox & Friends is just an insultingly stupid show, regardless of political bent. I believe it actually harms the conservative cause, because it makes it easy…

Well? WELL? Clearly, I’m not Jeopardy material, and after scrolling through comments, thus far, no one else is. For the love of all things holy, what is the answer? I’m feeling some screengrabber rage.

When I worked at a craft beer/pizza joint a popular menu item was our calzones. These were huge, and made fresh to order and took a while to cook. Our menu made note of this and it was there in writing that it could take over half an hour depending on how busy we were.