You’d think they’d invent more original lies.

I wish I could give you advice but honestly, I am rage stroking for you and the only advice I have is to fuck up both parties. That aint helpful so I just want to say I am thinking of you.

Ugh, I’m sorry. that is very shady indeed.

Please have a look at Chump Lady’s site. It will feel heartrending at first, but the advice is strong and sensible, plus loads of comments from others in the same boat. I am so, so sorry you are in this situation.

I am so, so sorry. This is my nightmare. As in I actually have nightmares that this happens to me but instead of my husband saying it’s nothing, he just comes clean and tells me I have to move out of our house.

Girl. Do NOT let him gaslight you! Kick his cheating ass to the curb, and go build a better life. You can do this. 💙💙💙

Um, you are entitled to be “possessive”. Marriage is a legal as well as a social and emotional contract. He is not just your husband, he is two children’s father. Does he have enough money, like a Mormon or Saudi patriarch, to support two households fully? If not, he doesn’t get to step out on your relationship,…

Oh girl. I’m so sorry. I don’t know which state you live in, but if you don’t live in a no fault state, install keylogging software on his phone and computer. Get your evidence, and get the F out. You and your children deserve better.

I’m sorry. I think it is possible for it all to be “innocent,” since I have a married male friend from grad school that I text with occasionally and who I have absolutely no romance feelings for or designs on. We mostly text about mutual friends or work (we’re both lawyers). But we also live in different states and…

Don’t. Contact the phone company and get the texts. You already know. Know everything and confront him with the real goods.

You shouldn’t believe any of it. If he had nothing to hide, you would have known about the texts - or he would have at least showed them to you so you wouldn’t worry. I’m so sorry. This sucks, but you need to have a serious discussion with your husband.

Haha. I just snorted while reading “cunty mother”.

Let me tell you, my parents have done stupid things too numerous to count. I think one of the best things they managed to do is stay civil throughout their divorce. Even if the other person is a monster, that’s still their parent and you can be honest without being hurtful.

I’m glad your review of the inflated phone bill revealed his fuckery. But sorry that you are doubting yourself and feeling many bad feels. I’m sending hugs. Please be good to yourself as you process.

Also, I’m pretty sure you can retreive the texts if he backs up his phone to iCloud or iTunes....

That is called gaslighting and it is a fucked up thing to do. Like he doesn’t know doing that will make you more suspicious! I say this as a woman married to a man with mostly close women friends, who I know discusses me and our relationship stuff with his coworker who is gorgeous and single. These are all things that…

OOF how shitty. That is shady ass behavior. I’m sorry you’re going through it and that he’s trying to double down on the shadiness.

My feelings exactly.

You are not crazy and not a dumb ass. He doesn’t get to dictate how you will interpret the texts. I’m sorry you are blindsided. Did he delete the texts after you confronted him? or as they came in? Did he keep an archive of their texts? I don’t like any of it.

Mrs. Swanson is a true hero.