Yeah, people whine a lot when they’re forced to make a fucking grown up decision between options that aren’t perfect. This is real life, folks. Sometimes you have to choose between feeding your kid McDonalds for dinner and paying a parking ticket. Voting for “Winning the Lottery” doesn’t help any.

I know Trump will be Stein’s biggest fan come November.

I think I saw that guy at a Rush concert a few years ago in Vancouver!

That judge is masturbating right now.

I still walk into meetings at work and think to myself “man, look at all the adults in here. How did I get invited to this meeting?” I’m 40.

He plays Aussie Rules football.

Curt, like most employees, gets wistful about his good times at ESPN. He really was a good fit there, apparently.

(in my opinion...) Game of Thrones is bad not because of itself but because of us. Because nihilism was super-trendy in 2010 when things were kind of crappy but looking up, but people don’t want to deal with that shit anymore in 2016 when the good times are almost certainly coming to an end, and actual horrible shit…

I went to elementary school with a kid that good (Michael Novak - I think he ended up taking Oregon State to some championship in the late 90's); he was kind and picked me to be his goalie, which meant I wasn’t picked last (second to last always), but I also could just sit at my goal and read a book because the ball…

This post is less of a clickbait troll than any Sploid article.

“You are looking at an industrial laser! It can project a spot on the moon, or at closer range, add three strokes.”

Hinkie was the hatchet man. John Nash on the Blazers was a hatchet man. They have one job to do, but sometimes they get cocky, and try to do more.

PFFFT! Next you’ll say we should consider every person we see individually instead of just putting them into giant monolithic groups we can easily stereotype with one or two comically inaccurate traits! SJW!

Exactly the same with Mrs No One and the Little No One. Got the best pediatrician possible in our eyes by finding someone clear on those rules.

Right? This isn’t rocket science.

Once when I didn’t have an orgasm I got accused of having an affair.

promote a sell.

If the Republican party wasn’t hell-bent on excluding minorities of any stripe, a lot of minorities would be conservative. Think of the conservative Catholic people from Central America living here; the conservative, religious minorities in the south. They would happily follow the party of their priorities…

All your heroes are problematic.

Philly is the Internet of Real Life.