HAPPY BIRTHDAY (really early I’m guessing) to you too!

Personally I go with Alcohol, which a great philosopher once called, “the cause, and solution to all of life’s problems.”

I wish I had a question that started with “my girlfriend.”

It’s time for Savage Nobody! The advice column that eagerly awaits your questions! He also awaits, the most important day of the year, which happens in two days. I know you all already have it marked on your calendar and celebrate it with by sacrificing your first-born child every year (it is by what may-or-may-not be…

That is officially my new motto!

Love your last sentence and it’s so true. In my earlier comment I kept dropping hints that I was hungry (the wafflepants, cheese, tea, bacon, and Vegemite kangaroos), and when no one offered to buy me lunch I thought they were just being judgmental about the fact that I am a freeloader who will never pay you back or…

Good call. Savage Nobody is fine with vanilla sex acts like attending orgies or walrus roleplay at those orgies, but kissing is a level of perverseness he’s not ready for yet.

It’s time for Savage Nobody! The advice column that wants to take your European questions! I’ve booked my flight to Canada, straight in the heart of the European Union, and am going to answer every single one of your questions the moment I touch down. I’ve even got my tuba and waffle-pants (I don’t know how you guys…

Wait, you mean the caterpillar doesn’t die and get magically replaced by a butterfly? Maybe there was a reason Savage Nobody had to repeat kindergarten twelve times...

Sorry you’ve encountered so many shitty men and sorry about losing your father.

Even questions that stumped the greatest minds of yore can now be accessed by anyone with the curiosity. For example, Savage Nobody just know learned how they get the salt inside the peanut shell!

Things that most of humanity would have considered impossible can now be accomplished when people are willing to work together towards a common goal!

Great point about everyone having something to work through. Another reminder that no one leads a perfect life, but no one lives one without some hope or brightness either.

It’s time for Savage Nobody! The advice column that’s definitely going to die with a slice of cheese pizza in his extra greasy hands! I’m really struggling to write anything for this week’s entry since today’s Savage Love was so dark.

It’s time for Savage Nobody! The advice column that causes your dick to disintegrate! It’s something of a problem, so I would really appreciate you signing this waiver saying you can’t sue me for this or any of the other ailments the Savage Nobody advice column inflicts upon its readers. I had my favorite hobo Mr.…

It’s time for Savage Nobody! The advice column that very much enjoys his freaky shit! He’s even managed to fill both barrels with it! The smell is pretty bad though...

If the kidney group doesn’t work out there are also support groups for parents of children with rare conditions.

Sorry about your kid. Savage Nobody knows what it’s like to be anxious about things you can’t control. First, let me recommend that you look into support groups for parents of children with this condition, if you haven’t already. Since they have first-hand experience with this they probably have more insight into…

Savage Nobody is infected with many ghosts (and other things!) most of which are horny.

Savage Nobody is probably the last thing his lovers want to see in the throes of passions. All his lady friends make him wear paper bag over the head while doing the deed.