That’s a great point of view! Reminds Savage Nobody of the time he decided that the adventures where he doesn’t punch out ninjas are successful in their own ways!

It’s time for Savage Nobody! The advice column that’s as numb as a guy who took too many drugs and as numbered as our days upon this earth (so nothing short of the sun dying will end this column!).

I shred everything! I even shredded this comment by putting it in the greys! As for the bunny, feel free to boil it. Nobody’s in the mood for rabbit stew!

It’s time for Savage Nobody! The advice column that eagerly awaits your letters!

It’s time for Savage Nobody! The advice column that sneaks out to do a little pot and the comes back and openly does a lotta meth and then feels the powers of a god flowing through him and then picks up a lamp and shouts, “I am Darth Vaper! Fear me foolish Skywalkers!” It is at this moment that even Nobody’s imaginary…

Sorry to hear that, and sorry about your husband. Fuck anyone who views you as a baby factory rather than a human being with their own goals and accomplishments.

I’m so sorry you had to go through that and I hope you’re doing better these days. It is truly terrible that we inflict our worst biases on people who are young enough to be at the most receptive and most vulnerable to that kind of messaging.

Savage Nobody knows that experience pretty well. Despite all the jokes I make in this column, I remain a pretty sexually repressed person in real-life. Reading Dan’s column has definitely helped him realize that sex can be a lot of things, most of which aren’t harmful at all.

Savage Nobody has accepted that Nobody is perfect, and that what is important is not whether or not we make mistakes, but whether or not we learn from them.

“Treat others as you would like to be treated” isn’t an inherently bad statement, but it can certainly be twisted pretty easily. Savage Nobody is guilty of having sometimes done that himself.

Savage Nobody has also struggled with toxic masculinity. In his case, it was accepting that he just isn’t a traditionally macho person and accepting that there isn’t anything wrong about that.

Savage Nobody probably would have been really into the idea of colorblindness if he had been exposed to it at a certain age as he is mixed half-white half-asian with a rather ambiguous* skin tone and got a lot of “what race are you?” questions when he was younger that led to him questioning how others perceived him…

Sorry to hear you had to go through that. Figuring out who you are when you are growing up is hard enough without people telling you your sexual orientation doesn’t even exist.

Savage Nobody can understand the libertarian viewpoint because there are frankly a lot of flaws with the government, but a true libertarian society strikes me as throwing away the baby with the bathwater.

The guy who sold me those microchips assured me they were itch-free! That’s what Savage Nobody gets for buying his surveillance equipment out of a back-alley van rather than any of the NSA-approved surveillance stores.

It’s time for Savage Nobody! The advice column that snoops on you every moment of everyday! That’s not an exaggeration! Anyone want to chip in to help pay of the debt incurred by all these security cameras?

It’s time for Savage Nobody! The advice column that’s late due to having to tend to its sexy, sexy pet cow!

Nothing Savage Nobody has planned has ever ended up working out, but you’ve inspired him to embrace life’s unpredictability instead of feeling swamped by it. Thank you so much. Savage Nobody’s got this!

Savage Nobody hopes they only rate dogs as 10/10. Anything less is an invitation for the gates of the underworld to open and unleash Cerberus upon them in a storm of righteous canine vengeance delivered with the ferocious force of jaws as strong as dog’s devotion to man!

Savage Nobody has never in his life felt like he knew what was going to happen next!