Got to agree with Mr. Breihan’s thoughts on Schwarzenegger. He may not exactly be the most versatile actor, but there are very few actors who could play any of his most iconic roles with anything approaching the same degree of physical presence as him.

You cando that, but you should first condosider if she’s just a REALLY good actress.

That’s why Savage Nobody exists! Literally! Savage Nobody has no other purpose in life whatsoever!

Yes, but when your lawyer/fuckbuddy decides to take legal action against you for being bad in bed, you’ll be sued instead of screwed.

Thanks for the detailed comment. Dan has mentioned the banging-your-spouse’s-sister-on-your-wedding-night thing before, but now we get to hear from someone who’s actually done it!

Sex workers tend to be pretty understanding about these things, so I don’t think you even need to break up with your spouse. The exception would be any spouse who objects to your god-given right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of sex workers.

Something being illegal never stopped Savage Nobody!

It’s time for Savage Nobody! The advice column that’s committed to sex workers!

R.I.P. to a true hero.

I suggest you plan a surprise date for your buttplug! Preferably in public!

The goggles aren’t supposed to go up your ass, they’re supposed to go on your dick.

It’s time for Savage Nobody! The advice column where virtual reality sex workers put sex toys in your ass!

Sorry you guys have to deal with such shitty corporate policies. I appreciate your efforts to spotlight good art despite all that.

These lists would have 100x the comments without the slideshow.

Well, fuck a duck! If you desire a cuck that doesn’t give blowjobs, just specify that on your new kinky dating site profile!

Get their spouses to fuck other people in someone else’s garden. Preferably the garden of someone you dislike. I believe the White House has a large garden capable of holding many woodcucks, their spouses, and whoever is fucking said spouses.

It’s time for Savage Nobody! The advice column that doesn’t fuck with gay cucks but does fuck with their partners, because that’s what the fantasies all about!

We don’t kink-shame here. I suggest you accept your water hose for who it is.

Unfortunately, Savage Nobody is prejudiced against leprechauns. I didn’t cause the Irish Potato Famine in an attempt to smoke them out of hiding for nothing!

Porn is better than any question!