The depressing yet inevitable sequel!

Haven’t you ever had a birthday? If so, you should already know the answer to this question!

I don’t have much experience with the münchner kind, but I can personally verify that every sing wiener goblin know kung-fu. Even the babies. 

It’s time for Savage Nobody! Special thanks to everyone who wished me happy birthday last week. Thought I should tell you guys about it. It was a pretty normal birthday. One day you’re one age, the next day you’re one year older, and then because that means a year somehow passed in twenty-four hours, a rift in…

Presents? I celebrate these days the old-fashioned way, slaughtering a goat in Satan’s name!

You can’t prove that!

Today, it’s time for Savage Nobody! Tomorrow, it’ll be time for the most important day of the year, Savage Nobody’s birthday! Precisely the opposite end of the year of the holiday dedicated to the birth of Jesus. Make of that what you will...

Blame Big Sunscreen. They are dedicated to systematically reducing the influence of all other kinds of screen on the world. I assure you this goes deeper than you think...

It’s time for Savage Nobody! The advice that column that blows you away and then just blows you!

If you feel like you’re invisible, it’s probably because you are. I suggest you look on the bright side, now no one will have to know how tiny your dick is!

Well let me start by saying that’s a lot, especially if you managed to do all this in quarantine. I suggest that you solve all of these problems at once with one giant orgy. 

It’s time for Savage Nobody! The advice column that streams all your misfortunes for the world to see!

This is awful. Hope you’re okay Michael. 

Sure you are! As long you don’t get into a relationship with the state. This is also recommended because states can be surprisingly clingy. I kept telling Alaska it wasn’t her, it was me...

Well that’s a lot of problems so I’ll end this episode with a “doink doink.”

The only “special equipment” you need is a kangaroo! The pouch is your harness!

You shouldn’t go on TV but your dick should. I hate to be rude to you, but, honestly, if I was talking to your dick, I would advise it to ditch you and strike out on its own.

Love this moment. A taste-based flashback worthy of Proust.

It’s not. It is however okay to slip meals into their Prozac. One of those unexpected yet happy surprises should cheer them up.

It’s time for Savage Nobody! The advice column that you have to be blind to enjoy reading!