Future legislators will have to deal with an I don’t know.

No, just a minor tear in the space-time continuum. It should go away on its own, but, if it doesn’t consult a medical professional.

Sorry, but I don’t have the personal experience to recommend a sex toy for two people, let alone three.

No, just CancerAIDS.

Only 99%.

It’s time for Savage Nobody! The advice column that (probably) won’t give you herpes! Ask me those burning questions!

Of all the ridiculous anti-vaccine arguments I’ve heard this has to be the craziest. Measles aren’t bad because a single episode of a single show made it look harmless. Do these people think everything on tv is real?

Why does the hoo-man love?

So anyone else a bit bothered that one of the first things Dan did was spend a paragraph complaining about the term pedophile being used to describe people interested in young but legal adults?

G Gundam absolutely was my first exposure to Gundam. And it was AWESOME!

It’s time for Savage Nobody! Couldn’t think of something clever to say this time!

Under your bed. Right now.

1. Because tacos

It’s time for Savage Nobody! I missed the last few weeks as I wasn’t feeling very good, but I’m here now and ready to answer all those questions you didn’t have!

And doesn’t that make all the difference?

Speaking of showers (or rather a lack thereof), does this film depict the things they did with egg burritos? I feel that’s pretty much Mötley Crüe in a nutshell. 

It’s time for Savage Nobody! Crazy advice for crazy (and not-so-crazy) questions!

Just remembered, everyone should go check out a video of him winning his lifetime achievement award. Without spoiling it, I’ll just say it might be the best moment in Oscar history.

In many ways, the last of his kind. I can’t say anything about his most famous films that hasn’t already been said, so I’ll just reiterate William’s recommendation of Two for the Road. It’s a perfect demonstration of Donen’s talent, while also featuring the work of the late Albert Finney. Can’t believe those two died…

You’re biggest mistake was leaving out those vowels. Only a sex cult leader would ignore them, that definitely clued in the feds.