Owner A: “Phew, I don’t think anyone’s talking about Kaep any more and we’ve sidestepped the whole Eric Reid thing. Aren’t we glad the whole anthem protest thing is going away?”

I’m not rooting for Boston. I want you to imagine what your average Celtics fan is going to be like if Brad Stevens grits his way past the Warriors. After Bill Simmons celebrates his 35th title since 2001. Think long and hard about the world you claim you want.

Fake news!

Maybe Steph Curry is just not a very good basketball player. Did you ever think of that?

First, they are also speedruners. Runners gotta run and if they can beat his time they have every reason to do so.

“David Tepper is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.”

This man has told you to get a sense of humor after calling you or someone you love a retard.

You are worth at least 2.2 billion dollars and you decide to go cheap and get the brass testicles? Get some gold ones and commit, or stay the hell out of my cartoonishly evil NFL owner’s group.

now here’s a guy who knows what really maters.

If he is his own DH, doesn’t that require that the subsequent relief pitchers also bat for themselves?

Hey some of us have other types of jobs that we don’t do

That’s impressive, but Michael Jordan averaged 0.1 more retained facts per game during the ‘90-’91 season, and that was with fact-checking and hand-checking

What is that bullshit? Dinosaurs and human silhouettes didn’t even exist at the same time, dude. 

That’s because his job isn’t to make basketball entertaining. That’s the league’s job. His job is to win. Drawing fouls is very advantageous because it’s very efficient - whether it’s a shooting foul or not; either he gets more time for a shot and keeps the other team’s time of possession lower, or he gets the…

Accepting that these are all pretty funny things, my favorite is people who project this to be the apex of what this team will ever become.

He sucked to watch at ASU as the team choked its way out of the tournament too... but he was at least fun in the regular season then. Check out this stat line:

It’s just so frustrating seeing some of the foul calls he gets. It’s not the “flops,” it’s the way he makes the other dudes foul him. Like, hooking them so they fall on him and shit. He games the system better than maybe anyone ever has, and he does a lot of cool shit. But it’s so infuriating watching him draw those…

In many American cities, without their security detail, Ronaldo and Messi might get ICE called on them...

I gotta admit, hating the Warriors makes a lot of sense but Draymond can dick kick my grandfather off a cliff and I’d still rather watch the Warriors than the fucking Rockets.

Things would have been different had it been a white groundhog.