Hey Kirk, remember when I was laying odds on how quick we were gonna get this comment?

Grow a dick. This is why she doesn’t like you. You don’t have a dick. I’m sure this “C” guy gives it to her like she dishes it out and that’s what she craves. I’m just amazed someone can be this dickless. Call it love, call it sex, but let’s call a spade a spade - you need to alpha up your beta game. Praise Jebus I’ve…

For the same reason why people go back to abusive parters. It can take a while to recognize how bad a situation is, and even then, you’ve got the emotional equivalent of the sunk-cost fallacy, feelings of self-worth and the hope that if you do the exact right things, everything will be better and this will be an…

How does someone write a letter like that without already buying a plane ticket?

Does Han shoot FIRST?

The IOC would feel really bad about this, but in their defense, the bribes were exceptionally large.

I am less likely to marry with each passing year. Not only do we grow less attractive in the conventional marriage market of our society as we age, but I, for one, am less interested in the prospect altogether as I grow more independently wealthy. I don’t need it, don’t want. I’ll only do it if someone needs one of my…

Word!

nooooooooooo toilet snakes noooooooooo

abandoned? they are going to be falling dead left and right. I wish they’d just be abandoned. welcome to the edangered species list pygmy marmoset! we’ll do our best to wipe you out bc humans are good at that.

I kind of want to start a thumb monkey rescue center now for when these little critters are inevitably abandoned. I would have the best miniature jungle gym for them...made of Tinker Toys and boba straws.

Well, that’s the most depressing thing I’ve read today. I feel even worse for these little guys than for their larger, captive cousins, because tiny mammals don’t do well when they annoy people.

Ahhh... the fad pet. There’s nothing inhumane about that.

A Very Brad Movie is good. A Very Brady Sequel is GREAT.

Jesus I LOVE A Very Brady Movie. Seriously, she was a genius in that film. She nailed Marcia perfectly.

It’s funny how Ben Stiller’s wife was in A Very Brady Sequel, which was literally the greatest sequel ever made (including the Godfather 2) except maybe Sister Act 2 and Addams Family Values. You’d think she’d be able to teach him a thing.

Saying it is the right thing to do

Bey didn’t almost fall - gravity momentarily forgot who it was fuckng with.

Pffft.... That's nothing, look at what Mr. Palme did to this!!