In the same way that this post should lie waste to the idea that you're a complete fucking dipshit because you somehow managed to slop together a whole sentence WITH scare quotes!

Strangers across the world fucking hate you.

Jesus Christ. You HAVE to really hate yourself to call yourself "a proud 12". You can kindly fuck off.

As a proud 12? May you die in a car fire.

only dickheads refer to themselves as the 12.

Or he's introverted AND feels that being good at football is his "safe place." He acts like he always has and doesn't specifically think about what he's doing. Having fun and showing bravado on the field, or not liking a crowd in his face are not mutually exclusive.

Have you never politely declined anything in your life? It's...not that hard.

Dude, all I have to say is "Eh ya know, maybe I'm not in the mood for beer - what else ya got."

Most good looking women I meet are relatively into beer or are at least interested by it. Of course, I am usually meeting them in a bar and I live in Milwaukee. I'm sure that has a lot to do with it! Ha

I honestly don't like drinking those beers, though. I think its ok to say "Nah, maybe I'm not in the mood for beer - what else ya got?"

I mean, don't BUY Miller, Coors, or Bud. But never turn down free beer.

Its as easy as Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.

Here, here. Every time I go to a wedding and the "good" beer is Heineken I find myself secretly hoping the couple soon will get divorced.

I agree with most (if not all of this), helmet laws are barbaric and can be potentially dangerous to the riders. I'm not talking about helmet laws though, I'm talking about common sense helmet use.

I was hit by an SUV in broad daylight by the art museum in Philadelphia... No helmet.

I would hope the active awareness of your helmet is the last thing on the mind of a cyclist.

At my wedding ceremony this fall, instead of mixing sand in a single jar, or lighting a unity candle, my wife and I poured a unity beer. She's Canadian, so she poured La Fin Du Monde. I'm from Kansas, and poured Tallgrass Buffalo Sweat.

Lemon scented Pledges?

I like to play this game where I ask myself what the single most inappropriate thing I could do at that given moment would be, and how people in the room would react. And don't be lazy... sure, helicopter dick is usually the obvious answer but have some fun with it. What if you just started holding hands with the…