I also lick my own hands when I play the piano. I'm just so proud of the way they dance along the keyboard, I give them little kisses with my mouth.

... the Hypercolor t-shirt of ice creams?

(crappy weird version of video but...)

I'm not a woman anymore, I'm a mom.

I've really gotten into skater dresses. I'm a little bit thicker on measurements- I think i'm 30-42. But I've got a couple skater dresses that ever so slightly graze out over my hips and butt, and accentuates my waist. I've never seen myself look bad in them- in pictures (cause you know, you always do that mirror…

How did I NOT remember this from Showgirls? Has it been that long? I need to do another revisit.

I don't know. Whenever I hear about this, I think- they are masters of what they do, and they are also masters at faking the fuck out of "perfect" marriage. I just don't think they're faking it that much. None of us know them, but it just doesn't feel like there's a whole lot of turmoil.

When I took a real quick glance at this on the front page, I just saw Tatiana Maslany 5 times.

At least that person came to pick up their shit. The abusive ass that I used to date never picked up his stuff. Two weeks passed, and I sent a really polite email giving him 24 more hours for his bag of very expensive tools (he was an ironworker) and three full trash bags full of his clothes, and even health stuff…

Yes!

Is that Colin Firth in the picture? That angle makes him look like a hybrid of 80s Kurt Russell and Ray Liotta with slight eyeliner on.

YES! I have a flat sheet, but I never go under sheets. Just under the comforter. It took me 30 years to even get on to duvets- it just seemed too messy and annoying.

FLOAM.

It sounds like such a (SNL) Drunk Uncle thing. I love it.

I was hoping for more monkeys actually, in Delhi and elsewhere. "Where are all the damn monkeys? What about the elephants- don't they roam freely? I'm never coming back here."

Man I REALLY need to get a boyfriend, fast.

I don't really care for prison wear but, it suits the show. It's not supposed to be amazing, clean or awe-inspiring, etc etc.

Oh no, I do. Trust me, I do. I just adore the way they portray it.

Right? Jesus. Portlandia is the name of the show. And they do dress like that, on the show. It's satirical. Good grief.